Day 1

And I look at a pile of bills and smile.

A pile of dirty laundry and smile.

A list of e-mail issues and smile.

For I have made magic happen.  I’ve been writing and been inspired by my friend John’s Choices series, that I’m making choices.  Some of them good, some of them bad. But I’m no longer sitting with the fence post up my ass.

Things are busy at work and Joanna and I are even busier with the house.  Everything has to be perfect for in 27 days, the kids will be here in Lubbock.

I know we won’t have everything done, but even a yeoman’s effort will be enough to transform boxes and concepts into reality.

I’ve stayed away from poker lately and that may change in the future. I’ve tried to do things that were completely wrong like trying things that in the end would frustrate me.  But I gave it a noble effort.

I’ve tried also some things that I have seen success in. Even a project that may turn out even better than I thought in the first place.  But I have to be patient, something that Shelby makes me do every day, cause the girl, never even heard the word patient.

“When am I coming to see you Daddy? I miss you!”

Now on the other hand, Ryan is not talking to me now. My ex says its a phase. I’m not sure that I can handle an extended phase of my son withdrawing from me.  I need to work on hyper communicating with him when I can.

And the boy that I wanted to play catch with, take camping with  and have fun , like my father was with me, otherwise, I may lose him forever.

I don’t have fear anymore, I would have been a wreck in years past knowing about decisions that could affect my future.

But I know now that I control my future, and tomorrow during lunch, I’m going to make a visit to someone that may help me try and be a better me.

I’ll explain tomorrow.

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