Dear Credit Card Companies,
Thanks for sending me the 4th reissued card for my wife and I in the last year. It’s so reassuring you are so security aware, wanting to keep me and my family’s finances safe.
But wait, what’s this? A $150 charge on my account from Houston is a shocker. I was actually in Orlando Florida, (even notified you that I was traveling to Florida). Yet this charge still litters my bill. That must be why you sent me another set of cards. I’m thinking if I actually saved all the cards that you give me in a year, I could start tiling a bathroom with them. Instead of using them as tile, I shred them. I don’t have the problem like Joanna had when she forgot the new card and tried using the old card at your business. That sure didn’t work out as well as she expected. So instead of using your card, giving you a chance to earn your pennies, she paid cash. I’m sure this was a mistake, a typographical mistake. You’ll credit the $150 on my account as soon as you sent out those cards.
 
What do you mean how could this be a fraudulent charge? How can my card be used in multiple places at the same time? It has to be a mistake, you’ll be crediting my account any day now.
 
14 days later and oh, the $150 charge? That’s still on my account. You know it’s fraud but you still haven’t credited it back to me. Racking up that interest that you will hit me with at the end of the month! Ah tragedy, what more should I expect from the friendly folks who lend me money from the “Potter bank”? They get mad when I pay you in full at the end of the month. I must be a nightmare for you. I borrow your money and then don’t give you a chance to make more than a couple of cents on the dollar.
I’m not the customer you want. I know it, but I’ll try harder next time.