Please respect my rights

This work by Sean A. Donahue is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Living life to the fullest

My New Year’s Resolution…

I resolve to write more and stop hiding from those who wish to destroy me.  I resolve to admit when I’m wrong more often and I resolve to try and be more fiscally conservative with my limited funds so that I can afford to do more things that I have always dreamed of, but never done.  I resolve to take more pictures, document my life better and be a great father, husband and friend.

Just the American Dream.

Can I have a dog… NO!

Whatever Lola wants…

How many times have I said no since Joanna and I started to mourn the loss of our wonderful family member Mugsy Red Raider Von Lubbock?

It was closing in on a cool 10K when I talked to my mom.

She was the former breeder and knew all the places to find good dogs and where to separate the wheat from the chaff as my late grandpa might say.

So, one night before Christmas, right before mom was to go onto a trip to Switzerland and Germany to go to market, I brought up the idea.

She was cautious but excited.

“He would want you to move on…, ” she said with a tone in her voice that I have heard many times but ignored.

I let it go and never brought it up again until Friday night as a lark.

“Why don’t you find us a puppy mom?”

“Two,” Joanna said with the tone of more of a wish, than a request.

“ONE, no more. No less.”

So Mom was off and Friday was a bust, her usual suspects were either out of the business or had changes their number.

I had completely forgotten about it, and Joanna was sad, but knew that when the time was right, we’d find the right dog.

Now, my mom had started again on Saturday and had asked of me and Jo our favorite things to look for. Joanna wanted a Black and Tan Dachshund, but it didn’t matter to me. It was about the personality that had molded me from Brooke, grandpa’s black lab, to Mugs, that to this day must not be taunted.

“When you see my dog mom, you’ll know. You’ll see something in his eye, a fire that won’t quit. If you see that. You will have found my dog.”

I had forgotten about that early in the day call, knowing that no matter what, if something was going to happen, it would happen when I least expected it.

Joanna and I were having a late dinner at On the Border (sorry FTC, no payment by them here) when Mom called. I had my mouth full and I missed the call and just thought that I would call her back.

Then she called again.

Something was up.

“You have a new baby dachshund, a black and tan dapple. Beautiful markings and Sean, I saw a couple of others, but this dog had fire. He was fearless in playing with the dogs much larger than he.”

Joanna and I had some names in mind, but I never named a dog without looking at him, I mean, there are some dogs that are named SPOT for a reason.

Joanna HAD to go to Petsmart, then Target (dog Woof!) to get the animal all sorts of appropriate items. She looked at dog clothing but my John Casey growl caused her to walk away.

So we went to the house staying up till two in the morning, cleaning the house preparing for one dog.  Joanna wanted to get the dog right then, but I thought that we should wait until the 30th and I would pick up the dog while she was doing a jewelry party in San Angelo. However, life isn’t how we plan sometimes.

And along came Keegan

The next morning as we woke up to go to church my dad and mom called.

One of my nieces, Kaitlyn had fallen MADLY in love with “Spotty” as she called him.

“If you don’t come and get him today, you’ll lose him. I can guarantee that,” my dad said.

My dad rarely kids.

I told my mom that we really wasn’t prepared to go.

She was disappointed and I took a shower trying to figure out how I could get the dog on Saturday after my promotional remote for work.

I had things that I had to bring my Mom and Dad, gifts from Angel Fire and from the wedding that somehow wasn’t given to them.

And I left them all on the counter.

I had brought a dusty soft plastic dog kennel and a blanket and we had reached a little past Abilene when my Mom, who had given in and went to get my niece Kaitlyn her own puppy, called and asked the question that has turned this family upside down…

“Would you like another one? Someone to play with while you two are at work?” There was nothing I can do, but hand the phone to Joanna and a glint in her eye of pure joy began.

“You need to work on the fence tonight,” she said as she hung up the phone.

I had a premonition that no matter what happened, that I wouldn’t be working on the fence that night.

So as we got to my parents house Dad opened the door and ignoring requests for hugs until we forced them on him, led us to the cage.

Led us to our dog.

Now he was the our one choice, the perfect dog. And Aengus is gaelic for One Choice so Aengus McGee joined our family.

We played outside and had some fun and Mom brought in our second dog. He shook and shook , scared as he could be.

But when we let him down to potty he became an Olympic athlete.  He darted from here and there, wiggling out of peoples hands and he was so smart that he would do things so we wouldn’t catch him (i.e. hiding underneath the truck).

We named him Keegan Patrick, Keegan for his fiery personality and speed, and Patrick for my late brother, who seemed to always be wiggling out of situations.

After dinner and hugs, we started for home.

But we had to drop off a thank you note at Joanna’s Aunt’s house and while the dogs both enjoyed the use of her yard to relax and piddle, I watched the 3rd quarter of the Saints game.  Joanna showed her aunt pictures of the wedding on their computer.

We , since the dogs were tired now and kenneled up in their travel carrier, headed home, stopping twice more to let them out for stretching and doing their business.

Finally home.

We finally got home at 2 A.M. and took them to their new huge box and crashed watching them look at us and then crawl into a ball on their blanket.

We took them to the vet because Aengus had a very bloody stool this afternoon and we were concerned.

The vet gave both dogs medicine for Aengus’s bacterial infection and said that they thought Aengus may have worms but they thought it was just a hair.

Joanna came home to study for her EMT exam, as I reorganized the newly improved kitchen  cabinets when Joanna called me to help clean up dog poo.

And TRAGEDY, as I saw the little signs of a puppy who has worms.

So tomorrow we have to notify the vet, that they were wrong and that the dogs both need to be dewormed AGAIN.

We notified my mom to have her have the other dogs that were bought from this breeder checked out.

And I find quite ironic, that the dog that we named for the Wiggle Worm, may not have worms, but the “One Choice” did.

And that my friends is just another story that once again you can’t make up.

One Question…

How mad do you think Joanna would be if I did this at the wedding?

Really that mad?

Yes!

Yes, it is a New Year and I would normally do a lot of things, but I changed my mind and did nothing today. Yup, NOTHING.  Joanna and I had a wonderful dinner last night at Stella’s, she had the Shrimp and Scallop Linguine while I had a sausage and cheese stuffed manicotti.  One of my best friends Joe Woodyard and his fiance Ann were in town and we spent the night playing games, Cranium, even though the clay had died on us we had a great time.

Then the challenge came.  We started to play hearts and the tossing of the queen of spades was everywhere as no one wanted her.  I made a valiant effort to shoot the moon and was denied by Joe who then uttered the words…

“No one will shoot the moon tonight.”

The challenge was there and I had to take it.  I had the ultimate hand to start 6 hearts and a three low with the top three hearts after the queen and 4 of hearts were passed to me.  I also had the Ace and 4 of spades and ace king of clubs plus the Top 3 diamonds.  I knew that if I could get the biatch first then it would be mine.  After taking the first trick with the King of clubs I through out the 4 of spades.  If the queen wasn’t given to someone else, then I was home free.

Joanna and everyone sloughed off and when someone lead with spades and I through the Ace out, I thought Joanna’s eyes were filled with glee and she through it down.

Then I started the punishment!

When it was all done, Joe knew he was doomed.

“You let him shoot the moon!”

Actually Joe, you did.

Never put something in my mind that can’t be done.

This morning Joanna made sausage balls and I made bacon and eggs and we fed Joe and Ann before they started the trip to hell, I mean Kansas.  By the way, I love you guys, but K-State SUCKS!

After we said out goodbyes this morning and Joe and Ann were on their way at 11A we went back to sleep.  I mean who VOLUNTARILY gets up at 8 a New Years Day?  We slept till 3 and then Joanna went home to get stuff accomplished at the apartment while I got up to watch the second half of the Nebraska Clemson game.  Dad and Mom stopped watching it after it was 14-3 and I kept calling them, trying to get them to watch it.

Finally I tempted dad and he and I were excited when Nebraska won.  I am glad they won because Dad believes in Bo Pelini.  He did a great job versus Texas Tech this year and I am dreading the return trip to Nebraska.  Bo does good.

I called Joanna and we went to Dinner and a Movie.  We saw Yes Man.

I would like to say that I hated the movie, but I can’t.  There were people in the movie saying Yes! everytime someone in the film yelled yes.  That got annoying but the film is cute.  It’s a one watcher though.  Some of the bits, you just can’t see happening again and again, though Persian wife finder dot com, now that’s RICH!

I give it the standard 3 stars.  Not enough to make me see it again, but I would recommend people go see it.

Tomorrow I work during the Cotton Bowl. UGH.

Change…

I’ve been working on a lot of projects this last couple of months…

So lets get you caught up:

I found a wonderful woman, lost her, found her again.

I had issues at work which I can’t mention and have made adjustments to correct the issues.

I haven’t played poker much because I haven’t been home much, lot of work, lot of renovation, lot of Texas Tech Football, lot of don’t care.

I have lost my voice, not only physically but mentally.  I used to write because I had something to say, but recently I lost it due to actions in and beyond my control.  It took a while for me to find my voice again.  Not to succomb to the death of what gave me joy for so long, the ability and the desire to write.

And only have I found peace recently.  Peace in my heart and peace in my mind.

I won’t be controlled or manipulated.  I will just be there for those of you I deem important to be around.  Recently I had made choices that I thought were in the best interest of my family, my future and myself.  All those assumptions were wrong.  I needed to not see what I was missing to realize that I wasn’t missing anything at all.

I have had the realization that there are special friends who care and who have been my advocates in many forms and function.  I have had those who have shown their true colors.  And I have seen the difference. 

I have made mistakes that have hurt me, but were in the best interest of me.  I won’t and can’t do things the same way every time.

And I have shut down.  Not like my usual once a year weekly shutdown that occurs after the Radiothon or before my birthday.  This was a shutdown of my emotions.

I lost Mugsy, my precious dog.  To some of my readers, he was just an animal.  But to me, he was my sanity when Angie left me and took the kids.  When my grandfather died, my dog knew when I was low and tried to help.  When Pat died, he knew my anger.  But I never was good enough to him, snapping at him when he would bark or when he would bark at the front door when there was no one there.  I was wrong Mugs.  There was someone there that night and you tried your damnest to make sure I was safe.  I should have checked up on you after you ran out the dog door.  You did your job my friend.

I took time to wake up and see a sunrise and see the majesty of a painted masterpiece that I rarely see.  I drove outside of town to see the stars. And I saw into my soul.

Now some of you would see this as an attempt to say “Everything is going to be alright.”  I already know that. 

That’s not what this post is about. This post is about cleaning old things out.

I have been working on removing the crappy old carpet and replacing it.  When the chair rail is put up in the next couple of weeks I will put up the pictures of the before and after.  But I don’t think that you need to see what’s in the past or in the future.

For the past is the lessons that we have all learned and all will learn.  The future is where we walk hand in hand together.  Some of us have fallen or taken another path.  Some of us will not walk together, our paths have diverged from each other. But the path I am on is a glorious one my friends.  I take each step looking forward to the next step.

And that’s what’s different.  It’s not who we have elected or who we didn’t, it’s not the price of my 401k from three years ago to now.  It’s the path and the walk that has made the difference.

I have made bad judgments on working with people on things that I had no right to involve myself in or get pulled into. I have worked with people that I have tried to overlook flaws that have affected the way I worked with them.  I have tried to work with people that I should have passed on because I wanted so bad to make something of my life.  I made mistakes.

But I have also have had some incredible successes in the last couple of months.

I put up a ceiling fan by myself without electricuting myself, I helped lay wood flooring down in the kids room and I have painted like I have never painted before.  Patrick would be proud. 

I have finally completed my emergency fund so I am safe for a month and I am trying to build on it with the $1000 in 30 days challenge.  So far I’ve got $175 in the fund and I think I can put more away to hit my goal.  I am extremely proud of myself.

I actually had Joanna put the thought into my head of going back to school and finishing my degree part time.  The mere thought of getting my degree finally puts a smile on my face and one day, and it may be soon, I might just start down that path again.

I’ve had other successes that I would and could enumerate… but why bother?  I have survived the darkness and have seen the light.

I would like to, without a shadow of a doubt, go to Vegas for the December blogger gathering.  But I cannot.  Work, flights and things out of my control will keep me from attending.  My next blogger gathering will be at Okie-Vegas III or is it IV.  I can not wait till July to see my friends again.

I still have hopes, dreams and desires of greatness and of miracles. 

If you read through all of this, miracle one achieved.

Sean