ISSUE 1

Billy knows what it’s all about…

Recently the following people have asked me a question:

My boss Jay,

one of my good friends Mike Dalby,

his wife Kym,

my intern Kristen,

coworker David,

best friends Joe,

his fiance Ann,

Joanna’s friend Sean,

Joanna’s friend Michelle

my poker buddy Wawfuls aka Marshall and

one of my best friends Mitchell  and Kerri all have asked me and Joanna

THE QUESTION!

And I have the answer for you all. (more…)

Well tonight Jo and I went to see Brian Regan at the Civic Center.

Funny guy but was more impressed with the opening act Kermit Apio!

Jo and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings cause I was craving buffalo wings and I’ve been good on my diet that I started after the surgery.

We came home and watched the new Burn Notice and decided that Saturday we’d clean the garage and I’d spend 3 hours doing nothing but writing.

I miss writing, but I have been working on some projects and spending more time thinking and writing stuff that I don’t want anyone to read.

The sites on my stomach are getting better I just need to give them more time.  I heal fast, but I’m so damn impatient.

Still waiting for my “revised” passport to show up.  Still surprised when I sent a New York birth certificate that they would put Lubbock, TX as my birthplace.  Hell, I love this place but sheesh.

Hoping my friends are doing well.  I’ve been lurking around, busy at work, my busy time of year preparing for my major event.  Then I get to go to Ireland.

I think the hard work will pay off.

Until tomorrow,

sd

Today I’ve been reminded as I looked across a tree filled with presents and food that I am lucky.

For I ate today, there was someone who went without,

For I was warm today, there was someone who was trying to stay warm,

For I was clothed today, there was someone who was wearing a handy me down, from a handy me down,

For I laughed with my family, there were people who lost loved ones today or never said what was in their heart before they left.

For I am a lucky man to have been blessed with friends, with family, with the love of my life, my two children, I am truly a blessed man.

But it is not the present that makes me happy, or the food or the clothes…

It’s being with people who love and who love.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

P.S. Happy Haunakah to the Wife and Doc Chako as well as any other celebrants of the 8 CRAZY NIGHTS.

Lachaim!

Sean

Its amazing how much energy these kids have, because no matter what we do, they continue on and on like some energizer bunny.

They are finally asleep.

We went to go see a movie and had dinner at the Outback.

When I got home, I got sick.  Must have been something with the Medium RARE steak I got rather than the Medium WELL steak I wanted.

Now before some of you mention that I should have noticed the difference in the steak before I took the 5 bites and then sent it back…

well, you try to focus on food while you have two kids fighting in a restaraunt.

Now I solved the problem, which was Ryan got a special Outback coloring contest in his menu.  Shelby did not.  So to Shelby’s dispair Ryan teased her about it, which caused Shelby to take the contest form from Ryan.

“It’s ok, I’ll let you color and when you are done I’ll put MY name on it,” was Ryan’s solution. I took Ryan aside and told him the letting someone else do his work was only acceptable if he was to grow up to be a football player (JUST JOKING), and he stomped back to his seat mumbling how I liked Shelby more.

I then went up , got the woman at the front to give me another contest entry and let Ryan color it in.  Shelby turned in her entry to the waiter and she was beaming because “I know I’m going to win, I hope. I’d like to win really I would.”

At the end of the night when I had my steak recooked and brought back by the manager, Ryan was done and he turned in his drawing.

“So mister, is my picture as good as my sissy’s?” Ryan asked.

The manager turned to him and said, “It’s going to be a hard decision to pick between the two of you.”

Shelby asked him, “When will you pick a winner?”

He looked at her and said, “Next week, and I have a feeling that someone at his table might win.”

In my sarcastic mind, it felt like Shelby and Ryan were the only entries, but in my proud daddy mind, it was because they stayed in between the lines.

Between stress from Fredicksburg and Corydon, I brought the kids home and immediately threw up.

That rare steak just didn’t agree with me.

I’m feeling better and going to crash.

After I take a couple of pictures of the kids sleeping. Their cousins are sleeping over.

Very +EV evening beside the illness.

 Finally we got the website up and working.  Reid upgraded the website to the newest software.

So I’ll be checking in and out during the week.  Internet is crappy so Good Luck.

We all say if…

…I could get that promotion.

…I could meet the right person.

…I could afford that new thing that I want so bad.

…I could win the lottery.

So after talking to OhCaptain this morning about what I would do since I couldn’t make it up to his Halloween poker game,  I’m putting my list now.

IF I WON THE LOTTERY…

I would do these 11 things:

1. I would continue working.  Why leave my job?  I would give more visability to my station and would have the ability to just tell the boss “Bite me!”  What’s the worst that could happen? They could fire me?
2. I would establish scholarships for Shelby and Ryan so they could go to whatever school they would like to go to.
3. I would pay off my families debt.  Then they would be told that they are on their own.  They get a free get out of debt payment and that way I feel like I have allowed to not only change my life but the lives of those I love.
4. I would go and buy me a 1964 1/2 Mustang that looks just like the one my dad got stolen and stripped from him.  I would give it to my dad.
5. I would finish restoring my 67 Mustang.
6. I would pay off my current house and build my dream house.
7. I would go back to school.
8. I would make than one blogger gathering a year.
9. I’d tell someone that is clueless, the truth about what I think about them and then tag the end of it with “and that’s why I think you’re a miserable excuse for a human,” hand thema check for $5,000 and walk away.
10. I would give a charity very close to my heart a large donation, and then tell them to never ask me again.
11. Take the remaining $ invest it in secure instruments and live my life like each day would be my last.

That’s what I would do If I won the lottery. 

Doc Chako, The Wife, OhCaptain, Waffles, Riggstad and of course Joanna are officially tagged.

Today was a great day, now some of you would be saying if you had a date, why are you home so early?  Just sit back and enjoy  the story.

The bosses were on my case this morning, it was as if they were saying “You won Employee of the Month, now don’t rest on your laurels dumbass!”  So they were being very picky… ugh.  But I guess their point is that they don’t want anyone to think that I am doing any less now that I have won it. Whatever, I am just following my new mantra. (more…)

That’s what I had last night/this morning as I left Oklahoma City and headed home.

Six hours of re-evaluation.

Where I am as a friend, who I am and what I need.

I needed something to do that didn’t think how my nose itched and my chest heaved. Until I hit the Texas state line and it started to pour.  Then I kept my mind on just trying to stay on the road while its pouring cats and dogs.

I like driving for self examination.  I look at the mistakes I have made and the choices I will make in the future.

I made one last chance with someone mean ever so much to me.

I gave her a last chance to see me who I am. And she told me that we would never be together ever again.

I was sad and I tried not to cry as I hung up the phone.

I pulled over and was thinking about the power of the 12th of July.  It would have been my sisters 37th birthday.  What would she have done?  Would she have married Trent?  Would she live in Bedford?  Would she still become a pharmacist?

Those thought were heavy like the rain as I pulled back onto the road.

As I walked into the house and into her arms I knew I would never love her again. And it was sad.

The past is such a fickle thing.  It gives you hope for the future and yet reminds you not to forget it or you’ll be doomed to repeat it.

She told me tonight that her next relationship would be not even with a male. Perhaps a female.

It didn’t matter what she said.  All I heard was just not you.

We have a limited time on this earth and now I am not chasing, but grasping for experiences and those I would have never chased before.  Last year, at this time, I took a gamble, which made me into such a better rounded person.  I found new friends, new acquaintances and new people who hate me. Lucky me.  For the changes that I have made have opened my eyes to a new world, a new life. For it are the experiences that are priceless, not anything that we can buy or sell.

I can count on my finger the chances that I have taken in the past because I never took them. I never stuck my head out of the shell to see what the world has to offer. And that’s a crying shame.

I’ve forgiven those who have thought that I have hurt them and hurt me back. I can’t wait to visit Stacy when she is back in Phoenix. We have put aside our differences and tried to work out a friendship that at one time was so damaged we couldn’t even mention the others name without the venom of hate corrupting our soul.

I’ve pardoned those who have sinned, lied and cheated against me. You will not have my trust anymore, but my sympathy. For your lost soul will continue haunting this earth long after your mortal body leaves it.

I’ve continued to understand those who have seen that their lives have changed beyond their control and accepted the differences of them. For I see not only who they are, but who they were.

I had a special moment in the car driving from the lake house to Gary’s house in Oklahoma City. Three divorced men sitting in the car, talking about things that make them weak, make them strong and how wonderful the people they have surrounded themselves have been.

And that moment will be a part of my heart. As the moment, I had to pull a friend away from a game, to tell him I had to leave because I couldn’t breathe. So frustrated I was, because of all the things going on in my head, that I didn’t want to spoil his day.

I used to cause fights with my dad and mom when I had to leave for Texas Tech after a visit so I could just go away. I hate saying goodbye. It’s the one thing I will never do.

It is until we meet again, tomorrow, the next day or in the arms of the Big Guy.

My heart is aching tonight, not because of the experiences that I missed by leaving earlier than I planned, for it worked out better for me. I got laundry done, work stuff prepared and I will rest more than I usually do before I go into work. Nay, my heart aches for my family, who mourns once again my sister’s absence from this earth. I mourn too, knowing that mom but yellow roses on her grave from her big brother.

As the grey clouds continue to circle my heart, I hope to find the sunshine that will continue to shine upon me.

Then the phone rings…

“Daddy, it’s me Shelby, can we talk?”

Can you feel the sunshine my friends?

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was Hawaiian Vacation.

Paging Mr. Griswald, Paging Mr. Griswald, please meet your Tragedy at the rental car company.

(more…)