… went to the doctor and there is “nothing he can do”. I have to wait for the one oozing bleeding wound to heal on its own.
It kinda sucks, but everything else is healing at an incredible rate so I guess I can be patient with it.
No, I can’t.
This weekend was incredible as Joanna and I got to enjoy Brian Regan on Thursday, and instead this weekend I discovered Stephen Lynch. Better and funnier….
Then Friday we enjoyed Sea Monsters at the Science Spectrum…
So WHAT could top that?
Hmm,
How about Darius Rucker , yes HOOTIE, Dierks Bentley and Brad Paisley. Jo and I got to meet Darius and Dierks, didn’t get to meet Brad, but from what I heard, his tour manager is a tool. But what do you expect? Tour managers jobs are to be the prick to the artists cool.
We were both happy that Darius brought out the Hootie catalogue and Dierks got an encore. Now how many times have you known an opening act to get an encore? Not many that I have heard of. Brad’s concert was a decent show as he kept the energy up the entire time. People were amazed that Allison Krause “came” to the concert. But they were mistaken by his 48 screen projection system that did a decent job though they had issues with the right half of the screen for the opening number.
It was a great night until I started to feel a pain at one of my sites from the surgery, and when I put my hand to feel it… blood. Not good but as I said at the top there is nothing that I could do.
Joanna has a job interview tomorrow and I hope that she gets the job. She certainly needs it to keep the parents off her back.
Work has been busy and I have five interns this semester which means that they are taking care of all the nitpicking little things that has made my life this year after the surgery easier. I am a lucky man.
I’ve avoided the poker rooms the last couple of weeks because I’m secure that my team I picked for my poker blog will come through and win by the end of the year.
Joanna and I have been losing weight because of our diets. I think that having someone support you is great.
Tonight was the greatest night in a long time. Why?
Categories: Instant Sean, Life, My thoughts, What's on my mind Tags: changes, Friends, Joanna, Life, Surgery
This weekend was a eye opening experience for me. I found out which people have kept me on speed dial for money, for tickets and to just be there for me. I found the best of who my friends are and I found the worst of friends.
I’ve been waiting for certain things to happen in my life and they are going very, very slow.
I’ve not been a patient person, but have rediscovered my patience recently.
There are certain things that I see that disturb me and yet I knew that they would happen. You see in every organization, every country and every culture there is a point where the weak fall away and the strong survive. In the groups that I have been associated with, the strong have thrived while the weak fall away never to be seen again. We should just move on and not dwell on the past. We should remember the past so we aren’t the one that is buried along with old hatred and old prejudices. I’ve seen the people who I think are weak and who have threatened me and my life have been pruned by the karma of life. Their evil deeds have caught up with them.
A person, that I don’t call a friend but someone I know, asked me for money to cover a major mistake that he made. I quietly said no. It wasn’t what I wanted to do, I wanted to help him out because that’s who I am. But I’ve helped before and I recognized that the pittance that he was asking for would not stop him from his abuse. I asked him to get help, I begged him to go back to his family and start over. But it wasn’t meant to be. I saw him this weekend and the shell of a man that is left is something that I can not help. It is beyond repair.
I’m the fixer. But there are some things that are beyond repair.
I put his number on the “Don’t Answer unless you want to deal with tragedy” list. Yes there is a list, almost as bad as the list of people who I don’t even put their name on my phone anymore.
I’ve discovered that the things I put aside when I was in college are things that I enjoy doing as well as radio. I’m going to do more reading in the finance area and try to make a sample portfolio when I get back from Okie-Vegas.
Yup, I am still going to Okie-Vegas, because I need to not only catch up with some good friends but explore more of me during the ride up. I think the greatest thing in the world is speech recognition software and a bluetooth headset. For if I feel like it, I can continue writing on the book as I am driving. I can get my thoughts out and down on paper.
I’ve also talked late into the night with friends who call just to tell me that they are thinking about me. It feels good to be remembered.
I’ve been hiding from the usual clicks that I used to be out with, for I need to be me and not their comedic sidekick.
I’ve always continue to examine and re-examine my life. To some its redundant, to me it’s healthy. I am trying not to make the same mistake twice and advance my thinking to at least 7 levels deep. In some events I am barely one level deep. But in other events, I consider the changes I have made to be powerful and amazing.
Okie-Vegas is almost here and I just can’t wait. It will fill all the needs that I have. I have had a hole in my heart. Maybe visiting the family and then the crew at Okie-Vegas will fill those needs. I’ve never been out on a lake other than in a small fishing boat with my ex-father-in-law.
The big boss is back in town and he’s making me laugh. Also my boss has me laughing due to the concept that he tought that I would be off today, even though I wasn’t supposed to take a day off near a holiday “Can’t have you being a cancer to the organization.”
Now I won’t be posting every day to this blog. It’s not meant to be a daily discussion of my life, like my previous attempt was. This will be an examination of who I am and the changes that I make to making myself a better person. I’m taking more chances, doing things that I would never have done before and they are all paying off in spades.
In working at the track this year I found out who were using me for who I am and who wanted to truly be my friend. The concept of waiting to find someone to find me is over. I gave it a chance and it just doesn’t work for me. I’m going to put myself out there and see what happens. I am a nice guy and I will find someone who doesn’t want me just for sex, for what I can get them or for anything else than who I am in my heart. Right now my heart is broke and hurting.
Because this fourth of July was the first that I didn’t have the kids. It was very saddening for me. I wanted so bad to hold them once again, but it wasn’t going to happen. I tried calling someone about Shelby but as always, I didn’t get a call back. I stayed out late at night, just watching the fireworks and looking at the sky, looking for the shooting star that I could wish on, for that chance at redemption. We all look for redemption, we look for people to have and give us value. I just look forward to the future of my kids.
Shelby is growing so much and I can see the sparkle in her voice when we talk, however Ryan is like his grandfather who avoids the phone at all costs. I will see them soon, even if its just in December. Time has a new meaning to me. I can examine time as a precious gift or I can examine it as something that ,like many things in this world, is wasted. I hope not to waste any more of my life. I have things to do, goals to achieve, life to live.
Special Thanks to The Wife, GCox and Surflexus for their holiday calls and wishes. I wish I was more talkative but I am looking around for the bear traps that aren’t in the stock market.
This weekend I made removals and additions in my soul. The dead parts were let go, to be free and to die on their own and the ones who power me, the parts that are the strength of me will flourish.
Thanks for coming along for the ride.
Categories: Friends, My thoughts Tags: changes, Friends, Life, Okie-Vegas, Poker
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