We all travel a road where we try to get somewhere. We have plans, ideas, looking for the right exit.

But sometimes, the right play is to keep driving, sleep when you are tired and eat when you are hungry, until you get to the destination you wanted to get to in the first place.

But there are no turn around lanes on this highway, just a lonely road of twists and turns that anger, confuse and sometimes sadden us.

But the road continues on and we have to travel to places where we intend to go even if the path is long and winding.

The last month or so, I’ve seen my friends come close, my acquaintances move further away and  the people who would back my plays actually back my plays.

And it feels good.

Yesterday the boss called me up out of nowhere to tell me that I had been doing an exceptional job on the project that I was working on.

Did he have to? No.

Did it make me want to drive further on the road, probably.

Because the road is whatever you want it to be, your career, family or your play at the tables.  You have choices and sometimes you get lost making the left turn at Albuquerque.

But you never lose by taking the trip. Sometimes the best trips are down to the store where you learn something just by watching someone.

This evening I had a moment like that.  It started at a mirror at a retailer.  I passed by the mirror and looked at my face. Not at the person, but at the face. And in some cases, I didn’t recognize who I was. I saw the body, but not the soul.  But I saw the maturity and the gray hair that had accompanied my receding hairline.

I’m not 40 and I look like this.

But as I’m trying this year to look at the gold and not the just the wood slivers in my soul, I saw a man.

A man pushing a cart down the aisle. His hair was mussed and he smelled of urine. He was obese and looked like his life was challenged enough in the first place.

He had a box of cereal, and a spoon in his cart and he paid with pennies and change, refusing all help from the checker and myself.

“This is the road I’ve chosen and I’ll go as I please,” he said as he was escorted from the store.

The man was happy in what he had, and I couldn’t understand that.

Why would he be happy as miserable as he looked and probably was? Where did he live and what did he do?

But as I ran out of the store to look for the man in the snow and the ice, he had disappeared.

Was he there in the first place I thought as I slugged the groceries to the car?

But I realized that the road I was on wasn’t one that made me happy at all.

And that realization was the beginning of it all.

And I have way too much to do to play at all.

But I do have a surprise for my mom…

I’ve decided to visit her and dad sometime in the next two weeks.

YES I’M STILL COMING TO OKIE!

But Dad needs help painting my brother’s house and Mom could use me a pick me up.

Right now as I look at the counter with 12 days and mere hours from Okie…  and it makes my heart ache that I can go for a weekend to see friends yet I am so far away from the kiddos.

But I got a late call from my ex-wife Angela last night.  I am happy that both of the kids are enjoying the summer and enjoying YMCA summer camp.  It’s good to know that Ryan has a new Best Friend that can throw a dodgeball “REAL HARD” and that he has a ‘girl’ that he likes.  Shelby is into High School Musical and the concept that she finds (Some character) “Dreamy” sick to my stomach.  Why can’t the kids just stay young forever…

So we can feel young forever.

Last night I went out to talk with some friends who were trying to throw drama grenades at me, just to see what I would do?  Well I took my handy drama racket and sent it back at them. 

For the Record:

Asking me relationship questions is pointless.  I screwed up the one marriage I had and I’ve been unable to find anyone else. 

I am funny ha ha, not funny ut oh or funny what the?

I have dreams and hopes that I intent to accomplish.  I just need the patience to see them through.

I have some amazing friends who laugh in the face of change…

Like Doc Chako who has left the Army and now is facing life totally different than he ever has.

Alcanthang, which gave up his donkey job to shill for Full Tilt and Live Poker Radio

Falstaff who is giving up the theatre to follow a new path

Then I have friends who have had their lives troubled recently…

TripJax and ChickJax who’s Grandparents (Hers) was in a bad motorcycle accident but lived.  I wish I had words to tell you my feelings but my prayers are ongoing

Bayne’s Wife has a seizure and surprised all the doctor’s by waking up and continuing to surprise them every day.

Pushmonkey72 whose medical problems continue.  I hope that he finds the answers to his questions.

Recently I’ve been working out and it says something when some of the “muscle men” ask me “What’s up Sean, good set!”  I’m just trying to lose weight guys.  It felt good to be part of the crew!

Hope you all have a great day and weekend.

We all have choices but some choices were never ours to take.

I had a choice to stay home this evening or watch a dear friend sing Kareokie.

What choice?

Sometimes in life you are forced to make tough choices because “you have to make the decision”

But a majority of the time, the decision has already been made for you.

I’ve been coming up onto some major decisions myself.

I could go and try to do what I need to do or do what I have to do.

But the choices are coming closer and closer.