Jake looked at his brother Troy and knew it was the day. The day he dreaded for weeks, but he was committed now.
“Look Jake, it’s easy for me to show you how to do it , but you can’t call yourself a man until you do it yourself,” Troy said with a smile on his face.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. I have to do it because you did it when you were 16, and Dad did it when he was 16 and Pappa did it when he was 16.”
“We did it because of tradition. You have to do it because, we’re assholes.”
“Great.”
As Jake looked at the task at hand he examined the bucket that his brother gave him in the morning with the encouraging words, “their small enough for you to do them in a bucket,” but he wasn’t sure what size bucket his brother, father or grandfather were given.
As he approached the area , his stomach turned as he could smell the acid from the pen.
“Why am I doing this again?” he asked as his brother started to laugh.
“Because it’s our Saturday afternoon entertainment,” Troy said.
“Stop pussyfooting around there boy, get yourself busy,” his father laughed as he spit out the chaw from his mouth grabbing the beer bottle and yelling again, “Come on Jake, get yourself some!”
Jake approached his opponent looking to the left and to the right trying to find away out of the pen. The bucket filled to the brim carefully held as not to spill any of the contents. If he spilled, he’d have to start all over again.
His eyes locked him as his nemesis looked casually around knowing what was coming but not showing fear. Jake had enough fear for both of them.
Jake started to walk slowly toward him and watched as his opponent backed up in a circle, every step closer was followed by one step back as each tried to outsmart the other.
Finally his opponent had enough. He ran and dove between Jake’s legs, confusing Jake for a second and followed it up with a bark of dis-encouragement from his father.
“Who has the bigger brain son, just get him in a corner and get the job done dammit, the sun is awastin!”
Jake put the bucket down and decided to do it his way chasing his opponent down, cornering him in the southwest part of the pen.
“Wish you had your bucket now eh Jake,” Troy said with a laugh.
“Shut up Troy, I’ve got him right where I want him,” Jake said turning his head away for a second, which was long enough for his opponent, who slipped to the right, to get away.
Cursing, Jake chased him down finally wearing his opponent down and grabbing him, running toward the bucket.
“I’ve got it, I’ve got this,” Jake says as his opponent tries to wiggle away but to no avail.
Into the bucket, his opponents head is dunked, taken out and dunked again.
“I did it, ” Jake said as he held his wet opponent in the air. “I won!”
“Yeah you did,” his father said. “Now dry the dog off and get ready for dinner.”
Categories: My Writing..., What's on my mind Tags: Instant Comedy, My Writing..., Quick, Writing Challenge
Schuster, you killed it, you BLOCKHEAD!
He said Thursday after a third straight extra-end loss, this time to Denmark, “I’ve let my teammates and USA Curling down.”
He then added… Good Grief.
Some of you asked, why my interest in curling?
Next to hockey it’s interesting and hockey will be boring until the US takes on Canada in both Women’s and Men’s competitions.
So now 0-4 I just wanted to find someone that is a bigger blockhead then some people I know.
So John Schuster, you may have won a U.S. National, but next to this person…
you still are the 2010 Olympic Goat. See you in 2014.
Categories: Instant Comedy Tags: Curling, Instant Comedy
Some people dream of a million dollars,
some people dream of divorcing their cheating spouse.
I have a dream of being able to make some of the gatherings of my friends that I have missed.
But my friend Waffles has a dream.
Of an apartment… Read more…
Categories: Instant Tragedy Tags: Help the lemur, Instant Comedy, Waffles
Look FTC, if you have a degree of sanity in your pea picking mind you must understand that some consumers are stupid. Just because NBC's Chuck, of which I am not getting any sort of compensation from at all even though I have a friend and fellow co-w0rker who is the roommate of Zachary Levi, used product placement of Subway, that it made hundreds of thousands of people to go to Subway other than they were hungry. By the way, I was not compensated to talk about how I like the Subway Cold Cut Combo. Look we have more "protective stickers" put on products because people are stupid enough to do stupid things. It's evolution, the strong survive and the weak die because they were stupid. So we have to enumerate everything because people are stupid... case in point:
Categories: Instant Comedy, SYCMU Tags: Instant Comedy
A bigger version?
Maybe I should stop talking about “need”s and the Company!
Categories: General, Instant Sean Tags: Instant Comedy
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