Posts Tagged ‘Instant Comedy’

My Heart

It’s not about us…

It may not always go my way, I might not understand the road I’m on, but I have to thank everyone who encourages me on the trip. I’m 13 days away from starting an emotional roller coaster that drains every ounce of energy in my body.

I haven’t secret tricks to play, I have nothing that hasn’t been done before by many other teams over the last 15 years. But as the leader of this trailblazing, ass kicking, God fearing, ever loving team of miracle workers even I fall to doubt.

It may be a millisecond that I let fear in my heart, but it is totally destroyed by the love of families that let me into their lives, doctors who share their previous stories and a hospital that has saved my life and the lives of countless others.

So I look to those who have my back now, 5 years ago, 10 years ago and 15 years ago on a ride that I am still on.

Thank you for your love, your support and your determination.

Years ago, I thought I knew what my path was intended to be.

I was wrong.

I wasn’t intended to be a big shot, nor a hero to others. I was merely a man, on a path that to this day confounds me.

I am still not what I want to be, but if you look back on the man I was 15 years ago and now, I have become the man I needed to be for others.

I am not a slave, but a servant.
I am not just a teacher but merely a guide.
I am not the man, but one he counts on.
I am not rich, but I am far from poor.
I don’t live the dream that my father wanted for me but the one that my father help me make.

I am a friend to all and I have never known a stranger.
I am someone that has a smile when you need one.
I am the one who really does care when I ask, “What’s wrong?”

And I have a mission on this Earth.

I won’t be used for others selfish reasons without allowing it.

I will call when you think you are all alone or the one you call when you need someone to listen.

I am ready for challenges, hopes, dreams, ambitions and with my heart open wide I look to you my friends to see what I can do for you. I’ve emptied my heart and my soul to you.

What does your heart tell me?

BETA

There has been a discussion on a board I’m a member of about BETA products.

I think Beta is an excuse to offer a half done product and fix on the fly.  We don’t demand QUALITY anymore, and companies know that. Why come out with a great finished product if we can toy around with it and re-release in a couple of years and force all the suckers who bought the early release to get the new version.

Just ask Microsoft. They never fixed the bugs in Windows 2, they just created new features and re-released with 3 , then Windows NT then when that flopped ME, which bombed, then Windows XP , Windows Vista and now Windows 7. Portions of Google are still considered BETA.  Instead of fixing what was broken, they added more “features” and increased the price.

My wife and everyone around her has an iPad. Everyone loves the iPad, but then the iPad 2 came out and some of those same people who were so IN LOVE with their iPad, turned around and bought the iPad 2. Guess what? The iPad3 is out. I love Apple, but I haven’t bought an iPad yet.  I just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I anticipate a 2014 launch of the iPad4 with MIND BLOWING technology.

Why not spend the money for the newest and greatest in technology now?

Because I remember the BAG PHONE that I used to sell and wanted when I worked at Radio Shack in the early 90′s. I didn’t get it because I couldn’t justify the cost of the phone and service  in exchange what new technology will come out in the term of when I truly NEEDED a cell phone.

Now I have a cell phone, not the Windows Phone, NOT the iPhone, but a nice Android phone. I know that there will be more powerful phones that have and will come out, but this phone serves my needs and is the thing I used to type this entry out.

BETA used to be a testing platform where products are limited to beta testers who would try and break the product, finding issues before it was ever released.

Now beta is an excuse. “Well, you know we are in BETA.”  Not good enough. When you have a product , take pride in its release because if it crashes and some of them will, your pride will not be the only thing that you lose, it is your customers and future customers. You become the punchline to a joke.

In that way, aren’t we all in BETA?

“Their small enough for you to do them in a bucket” – Don Carpenter

Jake looked at his brother Troy and knew it was the day.  The day he dreaded for weeks, but he was committed now.

“Look Jake, it’s easy for me to show you how to do it , but you can’t call yourself a man until you do it yourself,” Troy said with a smile on his face.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I have to do it because you did it when you were 16, and Dad did it when he was 16 and Pappa did it when he was 16.”

“We did it because of tradition. You have to do it because, we’re assholes.”

“Great.”

As Jake looked at the task at hand he examined the bucket that his brother gave him in the morning with the encouraging words, “their small enough for you to do them in a bucket,” but he wasn’t sure what size bucket his brother, father or grandfather were given.

As he approached the area , his stomach turned as he could smell the acid from the pen.

“Why am I doing this again?” he asked as his brother started to laugh.

“Because it’s our Saturday afternoon entertainment,” Troy said.

“Stop pussyfooting around there boy, get yourself busy,” his father laughed as he spit out the chaw from his mouth grabbing the beer bottle and yelling again, “Come on Jake, get yourself some!”

Jake approached his opponent looking to the left and to the right trying to find away out of the pen. The bucket filled to the brim carefully held as not to spill any of the contents.  If he spilled, he’d have to start all over again.

His eyes locked him as his nemesis looked casually around knowing what was coming but not showing fear. Jake had enough fear for both of them.

Jake started to walk slowly toward him and watched as his opponent backed up in a circle, every step closer was followed by one step back as each tried to outsmart the other.

Finally his opponent had enough. He ran and dove between Jake’s legs, confusing Jake for a second and followed it up with a bark of dis-encouragement from his father.

“Who has the bigger brain son, just get him in a corner and get the job done dammit, the sun is awastin!”

Jake put the bucket down and decided to do it his way chasing his opponent down, cornering him in the southwest part of the pen.

“Wish you had your bucket now eh Jake,” Troy said with a laugh.

“Shut up Troy, I’ve got him right where I want him,” Jake said turning his head away for a second, which was long enough for his opponent, who slipped to the right, to get away.

Cursing, Jake chased him down finally wearing his opponent down and grabbing him, running toward the bucket.

“I’ve got it, I’ve got this,” Jake says as his opponent tries to wiggle away but to no avail.

Into the bucket, his opponents head is dunked, taken out and dunked again.

“I did it, ” Jake said as he held his wet opponent in the air. “I won!”

“Yeah you did,” his father said. “Now dry the dog off and get ready for dinner.”

U.S. benches Shuster for France match and Sean rejoices!

Schuster, you killed it, you BLOCKHEAD!

He said Thursday after a third straight extra-end loss, this time to Denmark, “I’ve let my teammates and USA Curling down.”

He then added… Good Grief.

Some of you asked, why my interest in curling?

Next to hockey it’s interesting and hockey will be boring until the US takes on Canada in both Women’s and Men’s competitions.

So now 0-4 I just wanted to find someone that is a bigger blockhead then some people I know.

So John Schuster, you may have won a U.S. National, but next to this person…

you still are the 2010 Olympic Goat.  See you in 2014.

Dreams…

Some people dream of a million dollars,

some people dream of divorcing their cheating spouse.

I have a dream of being able to make some of the gatherings of my friends that I have missed.

But my friend Waffles has a dream.

Of an apartment… Read more…