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This work by Sean A. Donahue is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Posts Tagged ‘Instant Happiness’

Weekend update…

When our hero last left you, he was dealing with the staple sites becoming infected. "Oh yes, Sean, I have you now. I will make you itch and miserable. BRING ON THE PUS AND BLOOD!" "Now wait a min, I've been miserable, 5 years worth, and I don't think you can do this ole Satan!" I laughed at him. Now in hindsight, laughing at Satan and trying to go a weekend with infected staple sites wasn't the best idea.

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Just because I can…

C World has put out the list of the Top 11 Lamest blogs http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27792365/ has the list.  But during this holiday season I thought I would put out the Instant Donahue list of

The Elite 8′s

Yup, lists in eight of things I love, hate etc…

Let’s start it off..  See the other sets at http://www.instanttragedy.com

Elite 8 Blog/Rss Feeds

This award goes to the Top 8 blogs/rss feeds that I will check before anything else .

8. I will teach you to be rich -It’s a personal finance blog for college students, recent graduates and everyone else — including entrepreneurship — for getting rich.  I read it to help remind me about the little things that I could be doing to help me save money, for vacations and things for my kids. “Action is more important than reading 50 blogs.”- Ramit Sethi   And thus it’s one of the Elite 8.

7. Dilbert – DUH.  In the land of cubical hell he encompasses all the pointy head bosses in the world.

6. Blog Maverick – Mark Cuban’s blog is filled with promotion of his HD enterprises and his unique take on everything.  Not many people would explain why they are investigation by the SEC.  And he’s a MFFL.  Go Mavericks!

5. I can’t believe I ate the whole thing – Astin is a culinary GENIUS.  Though I am still waiting for his recipe for Egg Bread, he always has a unique and delicious way to look at things.

4. The life and thoughts of a midwest geek – Tim is a man who has a bunch of blogs, a bunch of kids and a lot of heart.  He is the reason I’ve been looking at Digital SLR cameras again.

3. Gcox – Though he has been busy with hunting, karaoke and work.  Gary is my brother from another mother.  Even though he is an okie and roots for Boomer Sooner, which has to be the STUPIDEST Fight song ever.  What you sing Boomer Sooner over and over again? Sheesh.  I will sing it at Okie Vegas but I will insist on NO VIDEO/AUDIO.  There is a limit to my shame.

2. (tie) The Wife and Doc Chako – Yup, you can’t have one without the other.  I alternate which one I open first since there are some days where I don’t feel like “ladies first”.  The Doc is always there with a grin whether it be a poker story or the opportunity to make you smile with a OOPSY!  The Wife’s pictures are always one where I had wished I took myself.

1. Bam-Bam – A brother of mine, no we’re not related, but the time we spent in Vegas talking and his offers to help me with anything I needed to get Doc Chako’s guitar ready is just a mere portion of the man.  Though I love the Frantic Fridays and the ability for him to tap in and let me into his life, he is an older brother to me.

Elite Friends

This award goes to the Top 8 blogs/rss feeds that are my friends that I haven’t mentioned above.

8. Evy’s Top Pair – Hellooooo Nurse!

7. Riggstad’s Nut Straight – We had a vision, and it will come true soon.

6. Poker Stage – Falstaff is the man.  When people don’t want to do something, he is there.  When it needs to be done, he is there.  When you are tired and exhausted needing a drink… he is there.

5. oossuuu – Not many people depend on you to get the hardest ticket in town then after watching his team lose come and help mount a big screen tv. A scholar and a gentlemen.

4. Dead Money = SirAlCantHang – Ever since he was put on “Vacation” the blog seems like its lost its fuel.  But I have a feeling that the blogger gathering in december will put him back onto a topless woman state of mind.

3. Everyone else that I haven’t mentioned yet.

2. Poker and other Stuff - My friend Recess has had a hard year.  I feel for him and remind him that the greatest joys are around the corner.

1. The Poker Enthusiast - Dusty is a hell of a man and I consider him one of my best friends. He listens without judgment and offers advice when I don’t need it but I should listen to it anyway.

Change…

I’ve been working on a lot of projects this last couple of months…

So lets get you caught up:

I found a wonderful woman, lost her, found her again.

I had issues at work which I can’t mention and have made adjustments to correct the issues.

I haven’t played poker much because I haven’t been home much, lot of work, lot of renovation, lot of Texas Tech Football, lot of don’t care.

I have lost my voice, not only physically but mentally.  I used to write because I had something to say, but recently I lost it due to actions in and beyond my control.  It took a while for me to find my voice again.  Not to succomb to the death of what gave me joy for so long, the ability and the desire to write.

And only have I found peace recently.  Peace in my heart and peace in my mind.

I won’t be controlled or manipulated.  I will just be there for those of you I deem important to be around.  Recently I had made choices that I thought were in the best interest of my family, my future and myself.  All those assumptions were wrong.  I needed to not see what I was missing to realize that I wasn’t missing anything at all.

I have had the realization that there are special friends who care and who have been my advocates in many forms and function.  I have had those who have shown their true colors.  And I have seen the difference. 

I have made mistakes that have hurt me, but were in the best interest of me.  I won’t and can’t do things the same way every time.

And I have shut down.  Not like my usual once a year weekly shutdown that occurs after the Radiothon or before my birthday.  This was a shutdown of my emotions.

I lost Mugsy, my precious dog.  To some of my readers, he was just an animal.  But to me, he was my sanity when Angie left me and took the kids.  When my grandfather died, my dog knew when I was low and tried to help.  When Pat died, he knew my anger.  But I never was good enough to him, snapping at him when he would bark or when he would bark at the front door when there was no one there.  I was wrong Mugs.  There was someone there that night and you tried your damnest to make sure I was safe.  I should have checked up on you after you ran out the dog door.  You did your job my friend.

I took time to wake up and see a sunrise and see the majesty of a painted masterpiece that I rarely see.  I drove outside of town to see the stars. And I saw into my soul.

Now some of you would see this as an attempt to say “Everything is going to be alright.”  I already know that. 

That’s not what this post is about. This post is about cleaning old things out.

I have been working on removing the crappy old carpet and replacing it.  When the chair rail is put up in the next couple of weeks I will put up the pictures of the before and after.  But I don’t think that you need to see what’s in the past or in the future.

For the past is the lessons that we have all learned and all will learn.  The future is where we walk hand in hand together.  Some of us have fallen or taken another path.  Some of us will not walk together, our paths have diverged from each other. But the path I am on is a glorious one my friends.  I take each step looking forward to the next step.

And that’s what’s different.  It’s not who we have elected or who we didn’t, it’s not the price of my 401k from three years ago to now.  It’s the path and the walk that has made the difference.

I have made bad judgments on working with people on things that I had no right to involve myself in or get pulled into. I have worked with people that I have tried to overlook flaws that have affected the way I worked with them.  I have tried to work with people that I should have passed on because I wanted so bad to make something of my life.  I made mistakes.

But I have also have had some incredible successes in the last couple of months.

I put up a ceiling fan by myself without electricuting myself, I helped lay wood flooring down in the kids room and I have painted like I have never painted before.  Patrick would be proud. 

I have finally completed my emergency fund so I am safe for a month and I am trying to build on it with the $1000 in 30 days challenge.  So far I’ve got $175 in the fund and I think I can put more away to hit my goal.  I am extremely proud of myself.

I actually had Joanna put the thought into my head of going back to school and finishing my degree part time.  The mere thought of getting my degree finally puts a smile on my face and one day, and it may be soon, I might just start down that path again.

I’ve had other successes that I would and could enumerate… but why bother?  I have survived the darkness and have seen the light.

I would like to, without a shadow of a doubt, go to Vegas for the December blogger gathering.  But I cannot.  Work, flights and things out of my control will keep me from attending.  My next blogger gathering will be at Okie-Vegas III or is it IV.  I can not wait till July to see my friends again.

I still have hopes, dreams and desires of greatness and of miracles. 

If you read through all of this, miracle one achieved.

Sean

My Super Non Ex-Girlfriend

I first met her at the hotel at which my, at that time, girlfriend worked.  I had no idea who she was, but she was in “MY SEAT” and I wasn’t going to have any little missy give me any lip.

“Hi, nice to meet you, can I sit down next to my girlfriend,” I said with venom hissing out of me.  Who does this woman THINK she is?

“That’s nice, no you can’t sit on the floor,whoever you are,” she said with an equal amount of venom.  We both hissed and marked our territory with her, being my girlfriends best friend.

I had no reason to talk to her as we ended every discussion with a fight.  Meaningless little fights as small as who was the last to spend time with the girlfriend.

One day my girlfriend told me that “her” would rather favor women than to ever see me.  I responded that I would rather knaw my arm off than spend one moment with her.

We didn’t talk again for a year.

Whenever we did it was snarky, rude just venom filled hate. I still don’t remember why we hated each other so much. But we did.

So a couple of weeks ago, as I left a promotional appearance for my job, I was honked at.  I didn’t know who the person was that honked but gave the standard “Hi, thanks for listening wave.”

She sent me a message that said, ” you know, when you see someone that you know in the convenience store, you should say hi…even if you absolutely despise that person…lol…”

I was pissed, I waved, Great, it was HER and I had to respond.  What did she want. We had not talked to each other in over a year and it was the best year of my life. I mean the last time I talked to her I told her ”
Just take the nightstick out and realize that we (The Current Girlfriend at the time and I) think you are great, though we are worried about your desires to handcuff men to your bed. Luv ya, mean it sd”

So I was polite and responded, ” When did I see you? I don’t despise you at all, Call me sd” because I really didn’t despise her, just didn’t understand why she chose to always be nasty to me.

She wrote back, “you’re a dork…and i don’t have your number….lol…i sasw you the other day at the gas station at frankford and 19th.”

And then it all clicked. THE HONKER! Well crap, what did SHE want?

It couldn’t be easy, it had to be difficult, ” better idea…why don’t you call me.”

Games, always had to be games with her.

I called her that night and we talked.

And talked, and talked. Until 4, yes ladies and gentlemen FOUR in the morning.

I found out that she NEVER did hate me, just wanted to be a pain in my ass.

So I had already had gone out on Friday to run some errands after staying late at the house and headed back in from (what I found out later was her side of town) when she texted me. [Come meet us for dinner].  Her friend Megan and her were at Moe’s eating dinner. I wasn’t able to since at this time, I was letting mugsy out of his cage so he could use the restroom and walk around each night.  I had to put him up so the tile guys who were putting down the new floor, wouldn’t have mugsy jumping up and down on them while they tried to work.

So I let Mugsy out, and headed to the date that would change the way I thought about her.

I met her friend Megan and her at the New Buffalo Wild Wings and we watched the opening ceremonies and she and I tried to play trivia without boxes.  I schooled her and we just started to talk.  All of the sudden, Megan excuses herself and she and I are alone. We talked about our hopes, our dreams, our wishes. And then it clicked.

She had to get ready for her two week trip to Philadelphia and Pittsburgh for visiting her best friend and her cousin’s wedding. I wished her luck and walked her to her car. As we got to the front door I tried to hold open the door.  And she walked right past me opening the other door and then she turned back.  I must have had a look of shock or disappointment on my face because the look on her face was priceless. I had kicked her dog, smacked her face and peed in her post toasties. She knew she had screwed up.

When we finally got to her car I gave her a hug, telling her the night was still young. But it wasn’t meant to be. She opened her truck door and got in. I turned to walk to my car and go away, but I had to do something.

I walked up to her and in my mind said ok. Make your stand.

“Honey, if I don’t say this I’m going to hate myself forever. But after talking to you and thinking, I realized one thing. Maybe all this time I was dating the wrong girl.” And I kissed her, tenderly, passionately and it only took a tenth of a second for her to kiss back. It was wonderful. She went home to pack and I went home to crash, but it didn’t happen. That night we talked to 2 in the morning and I had a remote and she had cleaning to finish before she left so I went to bed thinking. “What in the hell did I do tonight?”

The next morning I went to my remote and she called me telling me that we wanted to come and see me before my remote was over. But she never did and as I was leaving for the station she called me asking if I could come see her. I went over to her apartment and as I called for directions (I’m like that, I really need a GPS unit) she laughed and directed me in.  Now Megan was supposed to take her to the airport. But as the clock got closer and closer she got more nervous.

“How about I just take you to the airport hon?” I asked trying to help her out.

“Megan has to get my keys,” she said as she vacuumed nervously. “She has to feed my fish.”

So we waited until we couldn’t wait any longer, I started to help her take her stuff to the car. “You can drive my truck if you want Sean,” she told me.

“Nah, let me use my car,” I said as I started loading things in.  I really don’t drive other people’s vehicles, all I drive is my company car and my car.

As we started to pull out in came Megan and her various assistants. SHE gave the keys up, and I got her to the airport.  As I unloaded the bags I gave her a hug and a kiss on her forehead.  I didn’t try for a kiss on the lips. I wanted to play this slow.

She left and I didn’t think another thing about it, till I got a call from her telling me how much she appreciated me.

We talked on and off all the way her trip to Philly.

Every day the next week, we talked to 2 or 3 in the morning. We explored our friendship with each other and I had to pass several tests, including the “best girlfriend test”, the “friend who is a psychologist test” and the “Talk to my mother test”

I guess I passed.

So I told you that I would be making a small announcement here, so here it goes…

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Thoughts from the rain last night…

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