This day has been an especially hard one for me.

Not for the gutshot pain that DDionysus (Mispell Intentional) inflicted on me, but the pain that has been inflected on a friend.

(Author’s note: My sister passed away from Burkitt’s Lymphoma back in 1991. Where I am today is directionally proportional to the support that I have been given by friends and family. I talked with John today and he is weak but yet strong in his faith and his family. I pray to the big guy that he is given the support he needs.)

My friend John lost his sister on Sunday evening to cancer. Even though I have gone through those same feelings of lost that he is going through, I wish I could make the pain just go away.

Both of us, watching our sisters die, feel unimaginable loss.

Both of us, dealing with our sisters death, both fell apart when others needed us.

And both of us will or have recovered.


I know you are hurt, and grieving. I know you read the blog to see a bit inside me. But take a moment and remember that your sister is no longer in pain. The cancer may have taken her body, but she is watching over you and is holding you tight now.

You didn’t want your sister to suffer, but she did. You didn’t want your sister to see you cry, but she did. You never have shown any emotions to anyone anywhere. But I saw your tears this morning and I wept.

I wept for your pain, I wept for your suffering , and I wept for you.

I have no wisdom to impart, no cute story to tell, just a reminder that the strongest men weaken in the darkest moments of their life.

Melissa would not want you to suffer. She would not want you to hurt. She would not want you to ask why.

For the Big Guy needed her, as he has taken many of those we have loved and lost before her.

She will waiting at the gates for you, to lead you in like a sister would.

Though these next few days will be long forgotten by you as you put it out of your mind, I remind you that anytime you need me or anyone that I know, all it takes is a call.

I will be by your side when you need me.

And your sister will be lifting you up, as mine does me.

3 thoughts on “Healing after loss…

  1. Unfortunately, it usually takes a personal difficulty or loss to remind us that poker is just a game and a bad beat is just that.

    I hope that as time goes on, the hurt and the pain you and your friend are feeling are replaced by the wealth of cherished memories of your sisters.

    Sean Replies:”Though Tara has been gone for 15 years, she still watches and guides over me as Melissa guides and watches over John.”

  2. Poker is meaningless. Gutshot straights that hit on the river are meaningless. My condolences to you and your friend.

    Sean Replies:”My heart has healed, scarred yes, after Tara’s death. But the scar bleeds from the sympathy pain that I suffer with him. He is a strong man and I know he will leave it in the big guys hands.”

  3. Very nice post. I am sorry to hear about your friend’s loss. Our thoughts are with you and your friend and all that were affected by such a tragedy.

    Sean Replies:”I know he is suffering but at our weakest point we are the strongest!”

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