I was talking to one of my friends, and for the longest time I thought we hated each other, I really didn’t hate him/her, just was very reactionary in our relationship. We did what good friends do, talk about things that few people talk about.
I asked him/her about fear in life and how to use that playing poker.
His/Her response was one of the most clear thought and incredible responses ever:
“You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.”
Wow, and it’s very true, the bullies in our life are often those who were bullied before they ever met you. So I thought I would give him/her a couple of my friends and see what (s)he said about them. Now I chose the biggest of the well known bloggers and his/her words amazed me. Such vision and why (s)he is becoming a good friend.
What fears do the following people have:
“Chad fears lesser players being as successful as him.”
“Al fears growing up and responsibility.”
“Pauly fears the words not coming.”
Then I was silent, thinking about the wisdom that I have missed. All of them obvious answers and yet I didn’t see them or chose to ignore them. I just see the successes that my friends have had.
But then I had to ask…
What do I fear ?
“Sean fears not being accepted and the separation of the ones he loves not being around him.”
It just sat there and sank. It sank into the longest and hardest ball in the pit of my stomach. I felt the power transfer to him without him saying another word, then I realized that the power given was only given to him because I let him take it. So I took it back.
In the last 7 months I’ve dealt with that fear. I’ve lost people that I thought were my friends and discovered people that I thought hate me actually admire me. I have nothing to prove to these people. Because I only give them power by acknowledging that they have power over me. Which they do not.
But in the last week I have heard from 5 different people, some friends, some acquaintances, some just people who know me that have lost their jobs, one who is about ready to lose his home. And I don’t fear. My friend Mike asked me why I don’t fear losing my job or anything else right now.
Because I have no control over it. I have to go into work, and in my life trying to be the best in the world. If I fail that nothing else I do will matter. A halfassed action will result in halfassed end. I can only do the things that I feel will help me and my family.
“But Sean, you give more than you take, how can you say that you will only help you or your family?”
Easy mike, I’ve had a vision and the vision was destroyed by people who didn’t share that vision. I changed who I was because of what people thought of my girlfriend and other minor issues. But by changing, I gave them power over me. There are times that I wish I had stood up for me, in the past I have let people walk over me. But in the last couple of years I’ve stood up for me. And because of that I am a stronger man.