Why are the puppies in the car? And why are we sad?

Late Friday night I was called by my family to tell of my grandmother condition.  She’d been put into a hospital for an apparent heart attack. She was in good spirits but the doctors weren’t telling everyone all the details as they were still running tests.

I decided that I would call my parents and we would find a flight that I could come down on after the 4th on Broadway parade.  Normally I would blow off any promotional appearances, but my grandmother who I’d talked to reminded me about how Grandpa felt about making a commitment and keeping it.

So I decided to leave on a 2P flight (one way) and Joanna would leave with the dogs after the parade and meet me in Sherman.

Then the floods unfolded on the 4th on Broadway parade and a normal 2 hour endeavour turned into a 43 min parade as most of the floats cancelled.

So Joanna and I went home and changed clothes, thinking about the 7A call from my mom that I thought was the one that would tell me that I had made a mistake not to come Friday night and that she was gone.

But good fortune smiled upon me as Mom , Dad and the family was on the way up to Sherman and wanted me to make the flight ontime. Since it would have been longer for me to wait for the flight, we cancelled the ticket and I started to drive with Joanna on the way carefully through the rain and water logged roads to DFW.

With each moment Joanna would comfort me and yet I had nothing to say back to her.

When Tara died, I felt cheated. I didn’t get to say goodbye.

When my grandfather died, I felt relieved for he was in an enormous amount of pain, and I didn’t want him to suffer.

When Patrick died, though I was heartbroken, I had talked to him a week before and we told each other how much we missed and loved each other. It was perfect.

So I didn’t know if I was going to be cheated, relieved , heartbroken or a combination of the three.

But as we drove up to the hospital, I felt like the clouds were breaking, and the smile on my grandmothers face was perfect.

“I told you I’d wait for you Sean,” she said as I held her close.

The doctors had found a 5mm aortic aneurysm and were trying to do their best to treat it with drugs.

My heart fell as she only would eat a little when dinner would come. But she made me smile with her excitement to see the wedding photographs that she hadn’t seen yet.

Yesterday was a good day.

As I write this, she is now in ICU struggling and fighting like the tough old bird that she is.

I pray that we have more good days than bad days and that I don’t have to return if something happens.

But as we said goodbye, I kissed her, told her how much I love her and she told me how proud she was of my family and me.

Now, nothing else matters.

Your prayers and well wishes are appreciated all but I have only one prayer for the Big Guy now:

Big Guy, if it is her time, take her into your arms, guide her from pain and let her be met at the pearly gates by my brother, my sister and my grandfather.

If it is not her time, watch over her, give her the strength to recover and finish her work here on earth.

I don’t understand your map Big Guy, I don’t understand your plan, but thanks for letting me have a special moment with her.


4 thoughts on “A sad 4th of July…

  1. Thoughts, prayers and abundant affection to your grandmother from me and my family.

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