I just finished the opening chapter of “Weddingapocalypse – why you should elope”. Here is a couple of paragraphs. Enjoy :
I could tell you this story is all true, but you would never believe me. I could tell you about one friend who drove from Texas to Connecticut to end up getting a haircut, another who decided he was married to video game consoles or the ashtray that stood in for a friend who was underage and couldn’t get into the titty bar. But instead, I’ll tell you about all of them in a romping good time. If you will give me a moment, I’ll tell you about the most miserable experience a man could ever have at a wedding. No, it wasn’t my wedding, but I had the misfortune of being the best man to the Weddingapocalypse. Let me set the stage:
Her name was Brittany and she was from a small East Texas farming town, where Friday’s were reserved for drinking and screwing.
She had to get the hell outta there. But she needed a nose job and a set of boobs before any of the frat daddies at State Tech would look her up.
Brittany was looking to be a trophy wife, but she had to work on the trophy first.
“This morning, little dog woke me up by wearing my swimsuit bottoms… on his head.”
You see it in the world every day, VIP. It means Very Important Person? What makes a VIP? Is it wealth, position, fame?
I think, in this day and time, the word VIP has truly lost its meaning. It is the gold rope in which people used to separate the haves and the have-nots, but why?
Why are we forcing this separation?
One of the most successful airlines Southwest Airlines has NEVER gone bankrupt. In a competitive business model Southwest Airlines in 1998 was responsible for 3.4 Billion dollars in savings to passengers (1). Does Southwest have a VIP section? First Class? No, every seat has the potential for selection by any of Southwest’s passengers. Does Southwest offer business travelers the chance to get to the top of the line, why yes, they do. But not for an obscene amount, a simple $16 “business select fee” may be purchased to improve your place in line and other benefits such as VIP line for security. From someone who has traveled a lot in my life, I truly enjoy the benefits of being a VIP. But the seats are the same from the front row to the back row. There is not a noticeable difference if you are flying alone. I still may have to fly with the crying baby next to me or the passenger who should have paid for two seats but didn’t. In this case a VIP isn’t a VIP.
Concert promoters love the VIP concept, “it’s probably the biggest negotiation in any tour deal,” said Randy Phillips, the chief executive of AEG Live, promoter of the Bon Jovi tour. “On a hot act you can make as much money from 10 percent of the house as the other 90. (2)” Concert promoters use the exclusivity of the package to push the packages that can range from $350 for a Justin Bieber sound check VIP package all the way to the gold star of VIP packages with Bon Jovi which includes a takeaway chair, leather bag and catered meal. Now you might think that a package like this would include a meet & greet with a picture with the band. It is not included, even at the price of $1,875 a ticket.
So is VIP really a very important person, or a person who has the disposable income to afford these packages? People throw the VIP “brand” up everywhere. To everyday people VIP is important. It is a status symbol. “Oh, you are a VIP that sounds so cool.” But VIP is a toss away line. It is totally meaningless. I can throw on a pass that says VIP and ALL ACCESS to any event, but it is barely worth the paper it is printed on. VIP time is now being traded, money for experiences. People that want to separate us, throw the VIP phrase up to fool us. Now we can debate the right or wrong of this concept, but it has no value.
We have to put the term in its real perspective. In the days of old, VIP meant VERY IMPORTANT PERSON, something that would put images of movie stars, politicians and rich people with influence could have.
You are a VIP, I am a VIP. We are all VIP’s. All that matters is the perspective that we see it in.
When a person asks for your help, they are asking for you to treat them like a VIP. They want your undivided attention, the exclusives that you can give them with complete focus on their needs. Give it to them; get your client EVERYTHING that they ask for. There is no VIP for the cheap seats. Nobody wants to pay big bucks for “obstructed view”. So give your clients everything, find the thing that they have spent years looking for. Then charge them out the ass for it. Because being a VIP now is expensive.
Be a VIP, look for people who can help you and give them your business. Make them do the hard work for you, pay them well and look for the next challenge.
A VIP is anyone. You just have to see everyone as your next star.
(1) Morrison, Steven A. “Actual, adjacent, and potential competition: Estimating the full effect of Southwest Airlines.” Journal of Transport Economics and Policy (2001): 239-256.
(2) Sisario, Ben. “A Front-Row Seat, to Go? Rock Fans Pay for Perks.” The New York Times. The New York Times, 22 May 2010. Web. 19 Nov. 2014. <http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/23/arts/music/23VIP.html?_r=0>.
Republican control of the Senate with less than 60 senators means nothing at all to the long-term political status for either party.
If the GOP sends bills that the President feels is not in the best interest of his party and the country, Obama will veto. Without 66 GOP senators to overturn a veto, the GOP ends up looking silly again. ALSO the filibuster dooms any activity the majority wants, just ask Ron Paul and Ted Cruz for their crib notes.
http://gty.im/184060277
No 2/3rd’s to override veto so we return to gridlock unless both parties come together with the end of the attempts to override ACA and centrist opinions will pass and be signed.
2014 is exactly what the Democrats need for Hillary in 2016.
They need a ticked off electorate, sick of the bills brought forth to the president’s desk and because of this will fight harder to choose Hillary and have the benefit of a stronger seats to defend in blue states in 2016. The GOP will have to defend 23-25 seats, while the Dems will only have to defend 9-11 seats.
The next 280 days are VITAL for the Republicans. I wish I could underline this + bold this next sentence. Find a candidate like Scott Walker in Wisconsin and prepare him for facing Chris Christie. What needs to happen is a SHORT primary season. Because IF I am Hillary, I am DREAMING of yet another GOP fight.
This election really means nothing. EVEN if Ginsberg, Scalia, Kennedy or Breyer pass away… it is meaningless.
http://gty.im/475956569
The senate was already delaying judicial appointments…the election where everything changes will be 2020. That’s where everything changes. New census, new lawsuits for re-appropriation of house seats. When Christie/Walker or Clinton/Julian Castro are elected or re-elected, then we can say #Change was in the air
My wife likes breakfast on Sunday mornings after church. It is the one thing she requests, whether it is home-made or dine in, she loves a good Crab Cakes Benedict breakfast. The way that the Hollandaise sauce and the poached egg just sensually plays with the crab meat, it is almost an easy way for me to get out of trouble.
English: Photographer’s caption: “Crab Cake Benedict. A lightly fired cake cake topped with a poached egg and Key Lime Hollandaise sauce. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Arrive late for a date…
“Let’s get breakfast.”
Say something mean…
“Let’s get breakfast.”
Make any mistake in the world and my instant get out of jail free card was “Let’s get breakfast,” well until now, you see, my wife hates when the dish isn’t cooked right and more than one chef has had their dish sent back for reasons that normal people wouldn’t understand, but any foodie would appreciate.
Hollandaise sauce separating cause it is old … back to the kitchen.
Hard boiling a poached egg… back to the kitchen.
UNDERCOOKING THE CRAB CAKE… get sick in the bathroom and then sending the dish back to the kitchen.
Why is it so hard for them to make a decent hollandaise sauce? It should be a requirement of any cook to be able to make a sauce, poach an egg and cook fish to a safe temperature.
But my wife hasn’t been lucky.
She WANTS to love a certain place in Lubbock, she’s had outstanding food at many locations other than this one. But it says something when she walks in, the manager catching her eye, walks over to her to say ,”I am sorry Joanna, we are out of Crab Cakes Benedict.”
Now I love my wife, and I knew she would pout because this one dish is the express to flavor town and she was getting denied.
So she made another order, I made mine and we giggled together, knowing that some chef in the back sighed because the “Mistress of Crab Cakes,” was denied.
But then we waited for our order, at first not noticing tables sat after us were getting their food first.
Then the moment came that changed the relationship with the restaurant forever. I drank my “Diet Coke.” I will admit , to my doctor’s and mother in law’s chagrin, that I have drunk WAY too much Diet Coke in my life and I know when it is too flat, too carbonated, or in this case, just not Diet Coke.
So the waiter came over at my request to ask what I needed and I told him that my Diet Coke wasn’t Diet Coke.
“Oh, we were out of Diet Coke and I gave you Coke Zero instead. Same difference,” he then walked away as my jaw dropped. My wife’s face started to get red. I had seen this before and I defused it. “I’ll drink water hon, I probably shouldn’t drink it anyways.” But then the table of eights food at the table who sat 10 minutes after ours hit their table and it all hit the fan.
“They got their food… ,”Joanna said as her face approached the color purple.
What I had noticed that until this day I had not mentioned to her, was the plate delivered next to us, in the seating of eight, was one plate of Crab Cakes Benedict. I did not mention this to her because she was already angry, and I still had to be with her the rest of the day. We still had the Lubbock Arts Festival and other planned surprises. I couldn’t let her notice it, but she did notice we didn’t have food.
What was even worse was the kid at the table of eight got “Joanna’s Waffle” that she had ordered 20 minutes ago.
I tried to laugh it off.
“Nothing you can do about it Joanna, just spend time with me and we’ll talk.”
But then her food hit the table. Not mine, not ours, just hers.
I continued to laugh, which probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but she was so frustrated that with me laughing, I had to keep her distracted or the day would be ruined.
As she finished eating I waited.
Ever since the waiter made the “same difference,” comment, he strangely not made an appearance back at the table.
But the manager did appear bringing my food, 2 eggs scrambled, hash browns and crisp bacon. He tried to apologize and all I did was laugh in his face. What could he do? He had lied about what he had available in the kitchen, his wait staff lied about what they served me and they did not want my patronage.
So I finished my food, got up and tried to take the ticket but Joanna was quicker.
“This one is on me,” she said as the color returned to her face.
She left a shiny penny on the table and shooed me to get the car.
That penny would be the last penny that she would ever tip to any employee at that restaurant place. She paid the bill and gave the manager her last two cents:
I used to be a loyal customer. I have been to many locations enjoying many of your delicious dishes. But today will the last time I ever come to your Lubbock site. It’s not me, it’s you.
So today as we spend $30 across the street from your location it reminds me of the scene from Pretty Woman, “Big mistake. Big. Huge. I have to go shopping now.”
