The best of intentions…
Current mood: sleepy

I try to help my friends…
So when my friend called me at 3:45 this morning to get my opinion about a girl I listened. Was half asleep but I listened. And then I asked the one question that I could think of at that type of morning…

“So are you trying for a piece of ass or are you serious about this woman.”

“WOW SEAN. That’s what I’ve been thinking about. I guess I just want a …”

I interrupted “So does she want you? If so good, if not don’t hurt her feelings be nice go sober up and call me before you leave for home”

“Wow do you remember me calling you” my friend said when called me at 4 this afternoon.

“UH huh”

“Wow that girl was psycho, first she was rubbing up and down me, then she asked for a commitment before we did anything”

“UT OH” I had that feeling I get when I am going to have a good story to write a post on.

“So I kicked her ass out of bed and told her I wasn’t going to commit to anything”

How did I know that was going to happen? Just because my friends have this way of doing things that you just can’t make up.

“What did she do?” I queried.

“She racked me, got dressed and left… What a psycho!” said my still inebriated acquaintance.

The only question I have is why whenever we as men don’t get what we want from a woman she is automatically “Psycho” and I bet you $1000.00 that she is telling her friends that he’s an “Asshole” and “Commitment Phobic”

So I tried to soothe the savage acquaintance… “So what are you going to do tonight? Come over and play some poker with the guys…?”

“Hell No… I’m heading to the (insert club that doesn’t advertise with Rock 101 here) gotta find me some (insert derogatory female slang of your choice)”

So this morning as I am falling asleep my friend F-Scott calls me 4 AM asking if a co-worker was available.

“I dunno… ask her” I said. I wasn’t volunteering anything on anyone anymore.

I’m still looking for my princess. (Please let me know if I have missed you)

She is out there…

but after severe weather I AM TAKING A NAP!