After last nights Bubble Beating I took, I went this work this morning with a GREAT Attitude.


Thus, with a pounding headache I give you a repost from 2006. Enjoy.

This post is Rated R!

That means don’t read this Shelby!

With a turn of the cards she was mine, wait, let me back up.

I was playing cards at a house game one night. Blinds were fifty cents and a dollar and as the time went on the money passed back and forth. We were playing for fun and yet playing to win. No one was trying to knock another guy down or steal all his money, just take enough to make it sting. Seven guys in a smoke filled room just drinking beer and avoiding the responsibilities of life at two in the morning playing cards.

Then Aaron walked into the room. Cocky little shit he is, five foot six if he stood on his toes and full of “Napoleon” attitude. As always he was followed like an old school Japanese wife three steps back by Andrea. She had been with Aaron since high school and they would never separate. He was too perfect for her and she could stand his cocky attitude. He opened his wad of bills and asked to buy in for $250.

“Now come on Aaron, give the rest of us a chance who bought in at $20” I said trying to defend most of the table who was trying to have a nice easy game and not IAMAFREEDONKEYPOKERPLAYER.Com game

“Fine, I’ll take your money Rounders style, just grind it out of you.” Aaron retorted.

Now I would have known not to play against Aaron, not because he is good player, but because he is a dangerous degenerate gambler. He would gamble on two babies crawling if he had inside knowledge. But I was comfortable with my stack and I wanted to play because I had been getting cards, flopping sets, turning boats and making all the right calls.

There could have been one of two ways this night was going to go. Better or Worse.

Aaron took over the table and I went from my passive-aggressive play to totally passive. His aggressive attitude ran people off one by one. We started with seven at noon and people came and went all day long.

I knew how to handle Aaron; I wasn’t scared I just made the side bets his ego needed to keep him from playing true donkey poker. We bet if the turn card was a red or black, high or low, suicide king or not quarter each time. Pretty much Aaron had once again bullied his way to pissing 3 guys off in three hours and even forcing the host to hide in his office, as Aaron and I wanted to continue playing. Mind games; check raises, feints and all the bullshit that happens in the middle of a 14-hour poker bender that I didn’t want to end. I was still up $42 when it came down to Aaron and I straight up. I wanted to gamble. We always enjoyed playing heads up for it was the ultimate battle; my mind versus his money. We both checked and raised hands. Forcing the other to fold. Then it came down to the hand of the night. 4:18 in the morning.

I had the best pre-flop hand in poker; American Airlines, Pocket Rockets, a pair of Aces. Aaron looked at me and without a blink raised my big blind to seven dollars. I could hardly believe my eyes. It was like taking candy from a baby. He started his shit talking that in the past made me certain he had a low pocket pair and he was trying to scare me off.

But I had Aces. There was nothing that was going to make me fold my pocket rockets preflop.

The flop came down AH 4D 7S. No flush on the flop and he still needed to draw a card to catch anything that could beat my unbeatable trip rockets.

“Check” I said hoping that he would continue his farce of betting.

Andrea came into my eye path. She had been Aaron’s girlfriend for a while and I really liked her. But in my life I had realized that when I thought a woman was hot that I had not a shot in hell with her. I had the ability to get the women that you needed to double and sometimes triple bag and I didn’t want them. But back to Andrea. She had soft auburn hair that cascaded over her shoulders and to the small of her back. Her green eyes melted my heart and there was nothing I wanted but to do but slide the chips off the table and make passionate love to her. My daydream was interrupted by “Twenty Five dollars” Aaron said without blinking.

That was over half my chip stack if he caught his runner I would be left with ten dollars. But I had trip aces. No way he would raise… and then I caught myself. Why am I even thinking about this?

“Shit, you have two pair? You holding Tony’s hand?” I asked.

“You know I play better shit than that” Aaron said.

Again all I could say with my heart beating faster was “Call”.

But the one card I didn’t want to see hit the board. Okay I lied the 7 of hearts was wonderful to me. I love boating up. But the question is did Aaron just quad up? I was sick and tired of being passive and decided to be a little aggressive.

“Ten bucks all in” I said as my heart was in my throat pounding me dry.

“Good Luck All In” Andrea said and my heart melted and my dick soared. All I could think to myself was don’t have pocket sevens, don’t have pocket sevens.

“I wish you had more money Sean so I could raise you” Aaron said laughing. “I know you’d fold if I bet $50.”

My mouth was dry as my heart sunk. He had the sevens. The fucker raised seven dollars on pocket sevens.

“Well if you’d let me I’d bet that $50 bucks” I said; now trying to think about where I’d come up with the money.

“Hell, I would even you let you take Andrea on a date” he taunted as he shuffled his chips turning to Andrea and pulling her blouse off one shoulder showing the top of one of her 38D breasts.

“Come on Aaron, if you were going to do that why don’t you just raise Andrea on the pot, winner gets her as a girlfriend and the loser can’t touch her forever.” I said as I laughed.

“Done, I call.”

“What? What did you say asshole? You just fucking bet me you son of a bitch?”

“No problems” he said as he burned and turned a blank on the river.

I turned over my boat Aces over 7’s and smiled as he turned over his 7 of Diamonds and 4 of hearts. He did have Tony’s hand. I was right. And I had won $84 and with a turn of the cards I had supposedly won Andrea.

“Don’t worry about it Andrea. It was just a joke,” I said.

“No, a bet’s a bet,” Andrea said to the shock of Aaron. She came over and placed the most incredible electrifying kiss as she grabbed my crotch. “Just remember when you bet me, you better have the nuts.”

Aaron protested and was cursing Andrea and I as we left in my car.

But all I could remember was the saying my dad always said.

“Son, never bet anything you don’t mind losing”

7 thoughts on “With a turn of the cards

  1. Try 36, princess!

    Sean Replies: “I forgot, I am still hung up in the G in the 36. As in G GADS Those are big! LYMI”

  2. Generally, stories like this are type-casted. Good luck finding the 38D’s!

    Sean Replies:”Yeah, you are right they are 40G’s aren’t they?”

  3. Now I feel stupid …. story left myself questioning Tim – non fiction or fiction? Was going to give ya a standing ovation next time I saw you. =o)

    Sean Replies: “Yeah the idea was in my head, now I am still looking for the women to place in the story”

  4. So what else isn’t fiction?

    Sean Replies:”I am working on a way to make it where you can see that it is in my category “My writing” when you look at a piece of my work.”

  5. And…
    Dammit man don’t keep us in suspense. What happened after you left man????

    Sean Replies:”Ah the power of fiction!”

  6. A lovely bedtime story. I’ll make sure to read it to my son tonight. Good luck with all that!

    Sean Replies: “IT WAS FICTION DAMMIT!”

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