I first met her at the hotel at which my, at that time, girlfriend worked.  I had no idea who she was, but she was in “MY SEAT” and I wasn’t going to have any little missy give me any lip.

“Hi, nice to meet you, can I sit down next to my girlfriend,” I said with venom hissing out of me.  Who does this woman THINK she is?

“That’s nice, no you can’t sit on the floor,whoever you are,” she said with an equal amount of venom.  We both hissed and marked our territory with her, being my girlfriends best friend.

I had no reason to talk to her as we ended every discussion with a fight.  Meaningless little fights as small as who was the last to spend time with the girlfriend.

One day my girlfriend told me that “her” would rather favor women than to ever see me.  I responded that I would rather knaw my arm off than spend one moment with her.

We didn’t talk again for a year.

Whenever we did it was snarky, rude just venom filled hate. I still don’t remember why we hated each other so much. But we did.

So a couple of weeks ago, as I left a promotional appearance for my job, I was honked at.  I didn’t know who the person was that honked but gave the standard “Hi, thanks for listening wave.”

She sent me a message that said, ” you know, when you see someone that you know in the convenience store, you should say hi…even if you absolutely despise that person…lol…”

I was pissed, I waved, Great, it was HER and I had to respond.  What did she want. We had not talked to each other in over a year and it was the best year of my life. I mean the last time I talked to her I told her ”
Just take the nightstick out and realize that we (The Current Girlfriend at the time and I) think you are great, though we are worried about your desires to handcuff men to your bed. 🙂 Luv ya, mean it sd”

So I was polite and responded, ” When did I see you? I don’t despise you at all, 😉 Call me sd” because I really didn’t despise her, just didn’t understand why she chose to always be nasty to me.

She wrote back, “you’re a dork…and i don’t have your number….lol…i sasw you the other day at the gas station at frankford and 19th.”

And then it all clicked. THE HONKER! Well crap, what did SHE want?

It couldn’t be easy, it had to be difficult, ” better idea…why don’t you call me.”

Games, always had to be games with her.

I called her that night and we talked.

And talked, and talked. Until 4, yes ladies and gentlemen FOUR in the morning.

I found out that she NEVER did hate me, just wanted to be a pain in my ass.

So I had already had gone out on Friday to run some errands after staying late at the house and headed back in from (what I found out later was her side of town) when she texted me. [Come meet us for dinner].  Her friend Megan and her were at Moe’s eating dinner. I wasn’t able to since at this time, I was letting mugsy out of his cage so he could use the restroom and walk around each night.  I had to put him up so the tile guys who were putting down the new floor, wouldn’t have mugsy jumping up and down on them while they tried to work.

So I let Mugsy out, and headed to the date that would change the way I thought about her.

I met her friend Megan and her at the New Buffalo Wild Wings and we watched the opening ceremonies and she and I tried to play trivia without boxes.  I schooled her and we just started to talk.  All of the sudden, Megan excuses herself and she and I are alone. We talked about our hopes, our dreams, our wishes. And then it clicked.

She had to get ready for her two week trip to Philadelphia and Pittsburgh for visiting her best friend and her cousin’s wedding. I wished her luck and walked her to her car. As we got to the front door I tried to hold open the door.  And she walked right past me opening the other door and then she turned back.  I must have had a look of shock or disappointment on my face because the look on her face was priceless. I had kicked her dog, smacked her face and peed in her post toasties. She knew she had screwed up.

When we finally got to her car I gave her a hug, telling her the night was still young. But it wasn’t meant to be. She opened her truck door and got in. I turned to walk to my car and go away, but I had to do something.

I walked up to her and in my mind said ok. Make your stand.

“Honey, if I don’t say this I’m going to hate myself forever. But after talking to you and thinking, I realized one thing. Maybe all this time I was dating the wrong girl.” And I kissed her, tenderly, passionately and it only took a tenth of a second for her to kiss back. It was wonderful. She went home to pack and I went home to crash, but it didn’t happen. That night we talked to 2 in the morning and I had a remote and she had cleaning to finish before she left so I went to bed thinking. “What in the hell did I do tonight?”

The next morning I went to my remote and she called me telling me that we wanted to come and see me before my remote was over. But she never did and as I was leaving for the station she called me asking if I could come see her. I went over to her apartment and as I called for directions (I’m like that, I really need a GPS unit) she laughed and directed me in.  Now Megan was supposed to take her to the airport. But as the clock got closer and closer she got more nervous.

“How about I just take you to the airport hon?” I asked trying to help her out.

“Megan has to get my keys,” she said as she vacuumed nervously. “She has to feed my fish.”

So we waited until we couldn’t wait any longer, I started to help her take her stuff to the car. “You can drive my truck if you want Sean,” she told me.

“Nah, let me use my car,” I said as I started loading things in.  I really don’t drive other people’s vehicles, all I drive is my company car and my car.

As we started to pull out in came Megan and her various assistants. SHE gave the keys up, and I got her to the airport.  As I unloaded the bags I gave her a hug and a kiss on her forehead.  I didn’t try for a kiss on the lips. I wanted to play this slow.

She left and I didn’t think another thing about it, till I got a call from her telling me how much she appreciated me.

We talked on and off all the way her trip to Philly.

Every day the next week, we talked to 2 or 3 in the morning. We explored our friendship with each other and I had to pass several tests, including the “best girlfriend test”, the “friend who is a psychologist test” and the “Talk to my mother test”

I guess I passed.

So I told you that I would be making a small announcement here, so here it goes…

Last night after talking to her, since she has to take an exam to be a Travis County Sherriff’s Deputy officer, and thus will leave Lubbock after she graduates in December…

And knowing that we will have to be together for 5 months and then apart for at least 7 months…

I told Joanna Kate, my current girlfriend and soulmate, that if we can survive until August 21st 2009, that on that date, I would propose to her.  But if we don’t think we are ready, we will wait.

But if we are ready, we would get married before March 23, 2010 which would be my 40th birthday and six days later her 30th birthday.

So the countdown is on.

So to my ex… Thanks. If you hadn’t pushed Joanna and I away , I would have never treasured what a wonderful woman I have now.  She accepts me for me, allows me to have my passions and encourages me to become better each day.  She’ll have her degree in December and will either be working in Travis County or for the City of Lubbock as some sort of Police Officer.  And yes, I am proud of her.

So just in case you’ve been reading this Shelby and Ryan , yes, Daddy has a girlfriend and I know you’ll like her.

Love you Shelby, Love You Ryan, Love you Joanna Kate.


10 thoughts on “My Super Non Ex-Girlfriend

  1. What can be said? You know I’m happy for you. Hell, I’m even happier for Joanna! I know what she’s getting! 😉

    And although I whole-heartedly agree with the very esteemed Mr. Hughes, I think it’s twice as important that the two of you make a list of things, “to do” together.

    Then just slowly knock them off, one at a time.

    Surprise yourselves occasionally too. One of you just decide that you’re going to do one on the spur of the moment, tell the other and off you go!

  2. See what happens when you quit looking? She sounds kinda like hammer girl at Tech doesn’t she? I really hate her, but she turns me on. That kind of thing.
    BTW, turns out she is like the rest of us that have known you for years and years. None of us dislike you, we just like being a pain in your ass too.
    Austin has radio stations too. The area down here is pretty nice. Could use a guy like you around.
    Keep me posted, and I promise I will make the trip to see the event. Cause there ain’t no party unless Mitchell is at the party, cause Mitchell at the party don’t stop.

  3. Well, Well! see what happens when I let you two talk! Just promise me you will always be there for each other, thru the good and bad and just remember the maze of dreams, the camping tent that holds 8 ppl, and the major fact that I hold the key to you phone/text msg, Drive you two crazy by not letting you talk to one another! LOL you just have to pass my psych tests! Love ya! someone please smack the BRFT! ( I am always right when it comes to HER! I know her to well)

  4. I am SO glad you have finally found someone you deserve. You are the sweetest guy and you deserve the best. I am just sorry it took so long for you to find it….BUT doesn’t that make it all the sweeter when it is finally your turn!!!Love ya and I wish you all the best.

  5. Uh, you forgot what I said to you when you told me that you were dating the wrong girl…’yeah, but if you hadn’t been dating the wrong girl you never would have met me’…and REALLY Sean, you ARE a dork, but I love you anyway…with all my heart, now and forever! And if you kiss me on the forehead tomorrow night, we are gonna have issues my friend…shut it, and get out of my head…your gator friends are calling you… I love you!

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