“This is a work of fiction. All the characters in it, are imaginary, from my OWN THOUGHTS and not necessarily represent the views of anyone but my own. Please take any narrow minded opinions about my work and place them in the comments area below. As for anyone who thinks this represents anyone in reality needs to get their head examined.”
“DILLIGAS?” – Inspired by a quote from a friend!
Grade a paper, grade another paper, grade a third paper and yet not one person gets the impact of Abraham Lincoln’s assassination. This is getting tedious. I really need to stop. Maybe if I grade 7th grade math my ears won’t bleed from stupidity.
It never ends. It’s an ongoing battle against iPads and iPods and no matter what I do I can’t get into these kids heads. What I need to do is find a way to break convention without getting suspended. The last time I got suspended just because I made them roll a condom over a banana. It wasn’t my fault that stupid McKenna Richardson protested to the school board because her god wouldn’t want her to ever touch a condom. I failed to stop myself from taking out a picture of Lucy and show her what happened when you are 16 and you don’t use a condom. Stupid brat told her mother that an “unfit mother” was teaching her. So it was my fault she couldn’t handle her science experiment to dissect a frog. Again she brought up god. I wanted to go “hey girl, you know you are going to end up marrying some asshole who is going to be telling you that you are doing the “lord’s work” while he’s shoving his sausage down your throat.”
But I didn’t. I just told her that God made the creature and if she wanted to pass she had to tell me if it was a male or female frog. She guessed wrong, I failed her and here I am , grading papers while waiting for the stupid school board to make a decision if I keep my job.
“Ms. Anders,” a voice cries from down the hall. “The board is waiting for you.”
“I’m coming Dean,” I said as I tried to wipe the tears from my face. Fuck it. I’m going to either go down swinging in a blaze of glory or whimpering back to this hole grading this stack of stupidity.
As I walked down the hall with my motorcycle helmet in one hand, my leather jacket in the other, I realized that no matter what happened I could just go for a ride and everything would be ok. Walking in I saw the union representative shaking his head and I knew I was toast. Five members of the school board sat at a long table, as if they were better than I was. These morons couldn’t handle teaching one day in this school. They would get shanked and would be scarred for life. But my hands were no longer tied. I was free to do whatever I wanted.
“I’d like to say something before the obvious is done,” I started with a hoarse start. “I am the teacher, I am the leader. I take the curriculum that you set forth and I try and get these ADD short attention span nitwits who would rather play slice the fruit and facebook on their phones how to make it in the real world.”
“We aren’t saying that you aren’t, Ms. Anders, but failing a student because she didn’t know if it was a male or female frog by looking at it is not reasonable,” the stuffy blue hair on the right side of the table.
“Ms. Johnson, I know that you are trying to be hard on me to make me stronger. But I gave the student a chance to cut the damn frog.”
“Ms. Anders, this is no place for such language,” Mr. Peters the school board president spoke up.
“Mr. Peters, I have been harassed by this young lady as I remind the board that she is not dressing to your code of conduct handbook. She has not done the assigned work in class and has turned in her classwork inc0mplete,” I started to say.
“Jeanne, her father has donated in the past to the school district. We can not be showing her that just because her dad didn’t give us money this year that we will punish her with her grades,” Miss Chasity says as she takes her glasses off staring me down.
“HAVE HER DO THE DAMN WORK PEOPLE,” I stand up and yell, “IF SHE DID THE WORK, ANY WORK, I WOULDN’T FAIL HER!”
“You leave us no choice,” Mr. Peters said as he stood up.
“I’ll see you in court, I’ll bring her work and I will embarrass this district as much as it embarrasses me to work here.”
“You are relieved of your duties by a unanimous vote,” Mr. Peters says as I start to put my jacket on.
“DILLIGAS” I say as I start walking up to the table with one paper and a book in my hand.
“Dillygas? What does it mean? ” Mr. Peters asks as I reach the table with the union rep trying to hold me back.
“You read this report on the Scarlet Letter that McKenna wrote and then read the same exact words from Cliff Notes. You tell me if I am the embarrassment or is McKenna.” I started to walk out of the office and stopped to drop my school key on the ground, spit at it and kicked the door open with my boot.
“DILLIGAS means Does it look like I give a shit? You should know the answer by now you pinheads.” I started toward my classroom to collect my belongings.
And as I walked to my class Mrs. Donahue took the report and the marked section in the Cliff Notes and started to read. Her face turned bright red and I heard, “Oh my, we have an issue. People we have an issue. Get her back here Mr. Peters.”
I got to the classroom and took all of the work and started to pin it across the boards around the classroom. Giant F’s wrote on everyone of them. I wrote on the chalkboard one last message to them then locked the door and started to my softtail.
The message that I left for those morons:
“Remember these words, “Would you like fries with that?”