Today, a talented star lost her life. The world talks about her, and says “What a loss. She has such talent that we will miss.”

But how many of us knows an addict, someone who has an addiction issue and has struggled to convince them to come clean and to help them get help? How many of us know someone who is addicted to drugs, alcohol or worse and we don’t help them? These people have talent, these people are worth saving too!

Do we look past these lost souls and look toward our next piece of success, our next raise, our next piece of property or thing that no one else has.

Each and every one of us knows someone who struggles daily with addiction. But what do we do? Do we give them support or do we walk on? What talent have THEY wasted? Could we have made a difference?

We don’t look in the mirror. For if we did, we would find an addict looking back at ourselves.

Maybe continued involvement with a substance or activity despite the negative consequences associated with it. Maybe we spend too much time on Facebook , than in front of someone we love.  Maybe we spend too much money at the bar, but we “don’t have a problem.” Maybe it’s just a matter of wanting to sit in front of the TV so we don’t have to face our life because it sucks so bad.

Recently I had a friend commit suicide. His friends and family “didn’t see it coming, he was so happy.” I look at all the things that he did that now that I know he’s gone were warning signs to me. And I was too blind to see it. I was so wrapped up in the little things that my life had turned the blinders of being his friend.

I will never be able to tell him that I understood why he did it.  I will never be able to understand why he left his family alone.  But I will try and be there for my friends as they need me.

Last night I left to go pick up a friend that I knew had too much to drink, even though it was way past my bedtime.  But she’s alive today. I know that if I hadn’t gone, I would have set up and worried how she got home. Yes, it was her responsibility to be responsible. But it’s my responsibility to be a friend.

I’ve had two of my friends get divorced this year and it feels awkward. I want to talk to both of them, but I don’t because I don’t want to be put in the middle of whatever squabble they are having now.

I have a former good friend that needed treatment for drugs and he got it. He’s not back where he used to be, but at least the hollow look in his eyes are gone.

We all have problems and while cable news is talking about the latest star with talent to die, we should feel pity but we should be looking in the mirror. Are we the addict or is there someone who needs us to help them?

2 thoughts on “Take a look in the mirror…

  1. Talk to your divorced friends.

    Both of them need a support system of friends and family now, and while there may be bad feelings between them, they’ll eventually get over you wanting to stay in touch with both sides.

    I was in a similar situation years ago, where a couple I introduced to one another got a divorce. It was ugly, messy, angry, and emotional. But since I had known both of them longer than they knew each other, I wasn’t about to “choose a side”. I’m still friends with both, and generally avoid talking about the other when I’m with one, but they don’t hold my friendship with their ex against me.

    They both really appreciate it too. They both “lost” friends in the divorce, as people do pick sides, and knowing that at least a few of us were able to act like adults helped.

    1. I am , slowly each day one , and then the other, alternating between the two. It’s hard. I want them both to succeed but they have to get past the “He’s a pig,” “She’s a bitch”. phase.

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