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Instant Happiness – Instant Sean

Instant Sean

Category: Instant Happiness

  • Parenting : The Masters Class

    Parenting : The Masters Class

    Dear Mom and Dad,

    Growing up I asked you all the time about parenting. Not all the “How does going to bed at 7 P.M. is going to help my development as a future adult,” but “why,”?

    You always seemed to have the answers. The questions you didn’t have the answer to, you just told me that I would understand when I got older.

    Initially I thought it was a blow off answer. But now I know you were right.

    For all the mistakes I made, you were there to pick me up.

    For all the mistakes you made, you tried the best you could under trying circumstances

    For all the hard times we had financially, you gave value to the possessions we did have.

    For every meaningless toy we wanted but couldn’t and shouldn’t have gotten, you gave us an adventures money could never buy. How many stories could we fill about adventures on the way to adventures, such as walking down a parkway in Chicago to get White Castle or me wasting a half of a roll of film to get a picture of a rooster at Knotts Berry Farm.

    I just didn’t get it.
    For the hand me down that filled our closets, there were stories behind each of them.

     

    You gave us hope through the darkness of a New York blackout, and love through the darkest moments in our family. When people attempted to divide, we came closer as a family.

    You asked me this weekend if anything was wrong.
    This weekend I was quiet, just swallowing every little moment, savoring the opportunities, every hug, kiss and second with my kids, like you used to do to me.

     

    I used to push you away, in fear of something I could never put my finger on, maybe it was a cool factor or just misunderstanding the moment you were having.

    I just didn’t get it as a child

    Love is a fleeting gift, a moment that is here and gone. Moments, like Shelby’s graduation won’t be measured in the seconds of confusion or anger over something trivial but will be measured in the tears that fell from my eyes as Shelby’s name was called.
    There never has been a book on parenting your kids the way you have and thus it’s the reason I’ve realized this afternoon I had taken a masters course in parenting all during my life.

    I didn’t get it when I was a kid but I finally understand today.

    I love you,

    sd

  • Not easy being divorced…

    Not easy being divorced…

     
    For years I have told my friends that living as a divorced dad isn’t easy. With my daughter and son being across the country from where I live, I couldn’t come over and fix the problems they encountered in their lives. It wasn’t easy. I also did not make it easy on them with living arrangements. It was either their mom’s place or mine! There were no bouncing around like a super ball in an enclosed glass space.
     
    I was a jerk. I had to be. If I made life easy on them, I would be doing them a disservice. I have always told them “life isn’t fair, you have to fight for what you believe in.”
     
    So I was completely blown away when my daughter told me of her decision not to go to Ball State. She decided her goals could succeed at Indiana University – Southeast. Part of me pained, definitely my wallet as I had found different things with Ball State Cardinals on it. But I digress.
     
    She was afraid to tell me because she thought I would be mad. She didn’t want to hurt my feelings. That’s how considerate my daughter is. There are plenty of words in this world describing my Shelby. I am not sure I can articulate them all in one post. Every time I look at her with the feeling of failure, because I wasn’t there every day, from her first bike ride to her first dance. I was wrong. Somehow by osmosis, by some miracle, I have no idea, my daughter got it right. She thinks of others and not her own happiness and somehow, by a miracle, I get it.
     
    All the sacrifices we make as parents, are mere pittance, to the ones we fail to see.
     
    I told Joanna I failed as a father, and yet somehow tripped into a wonderful woman. I have to give her mother and stepfather credit. They did a good job.
     
    This week a friend of mine was having issues with his kids. He does anything and everything to make them happy. But yet his kids treat him with anger and pain.
     
    He asked me what the secret of being a divorced dad was.
     
    I shrugged my shoulders and said, “taking it one day at a time. Somehow, by some miracle, my daughter that was learning to walk a mere blink ago, is graduating from high school. Grab those moments, forget about the bad ones, laugh, love and keep moving forward.”
     
    One day you will trip and realize in your effort to do everything right, that somehow, you survived. And that my friends is what being a long distance parent is all about.
     
     
     
     
     
  • Moving the line through a $1.50 soda

    Moving the line through a $1.50 soda

    A friend of mine I met through a startup, asked some questions on social media about creating startups companies in India.

    What would you do to create a business if you had 100 INR in your pocket was the question Mitesh posed? I watched the conversation begin over several posts with ideas, thoughts and concepts being thrown out. Intrigued, watching intelligent people throw out ideas.

    Why didn’t I think about that? We spend our lives wanted better things, but people who succeed go and get them.
    When I started in radio, I wanted the job of a program director, running a station. I set a goal, a high one but once I accomplished it I let the goal define me instead of me redefine the goal. So once circumstances changed I redefined my goal being the best director of digital media my company has. So far so good. My goals achieved have created future goals. Instead of being happy with the goal line I had jogged in place at for years, I moved the line. It forced me to run in uncomfortable circumstances and get out of running on the circle track of life that always ended at the same goal line I had for 15 years.

    We all need to move our goal lines daily. We should work to get closer to our goals each day, then move the goal further away. We will meet the short-term goals, but without a long-term goal to motivate us, we will be jogging in place at a finish line which has lost complete meaning due to time. We need to escape the circle track of life that constrains us to arbitrary boundaries forcing us to stay within the lines. We all know the limitations we have. But you will never make any goal if you do not believe you will do it.

    Another friend of mine is an Ironman triathlete. Randy has achieved what many try but few carry out. He trained for a 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bicycle ride and a marathon 26.2-mile run all finishing in a 17 hour time period. I once asked him how he could do it.

    “One stroke, one pedal and one step at a time.”

    He didn’t try to do it all in one day, but started with a swim, a ride and a run until he could do it all at the same time .

    I WANT YOU TO BE A MENTAL CROSS COUNTRY RUNNER! Keep moving forward like you always have someone chasing after you and you will succeed more than if you jog in place while reading the latest novel on your phone.

    English: Snack Machine
    English: Snack Machine (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

    About the $1.50 soda… my wife couldn’t get out of her work during the recent snow storm and used her debit card to pay for a 20 ounce soda in a vending machine. With the .25 cent convenience charge tacked on, it was $1.50. She needed a drink and was willing to pay a charge that to this day drove me crazy.

    It’s just a soda you cry, what’s the big deal?

    Because that simple $1.50 soda, we take for granted, is the same amount of money that my friend Mitesh was using to motivate people in India to create a business from.

    Perspective my friends is everything.

    So my friends in India, I wish you well with your businesses and look forward to seeing success now and in the future from you. I will continue to cheer you on and cannot wait to see the victories you will make.

    Every goal starts with taking one step forward. Lace up your shoes, and let’s go!

  • Why I love her…

    Why I love her…

    Today, my wife went home. Not because I wanted her, but because her parents needed her to. She went home because that’s what daughters do when they are only children. They go home to help their parents around the holidays.

    This is why I love her.

    Joanna allows me to be neurotic and obsessive over little things because she knows that if I take care of the little things, the big things are automatic for me. She allows me to play my video games, have long conversations with Social Media GIANTS from around the world and take her when she isn’t feeling well for a ride around the loop because she doesn’t feel like being in the house anymore.

    She allows me to be the best version of me possible, even with my flaws.

    This is why I love her.

    I try my best not to get involved with drama, because I dislike drama. I want everyone to be cooperative, friendly and encouraging to others. Not that many people do that in this world.

    She supports my vision.

    This is why I love her.

    Joanna lives in a town far away from her parents because I have a career here. She has sacrificed so I might flourish. She encourages me to be better every day and is the first one to tell me when I have failed & hug me afterwards.

    This is why I love her.

    She is a private person and I will probably get yelled at for telling you so much about her, but I have to.

    She fights for those who have no voice and lends her voice to others. She is the one whose ethics are amazing and rather than others who have asked for me to bend what I believe, making me even more ethical. She is proud of me and loves me unconditionally.

    This is why I love her.

    She says that dislikes small dogs, but will do whatever it takes when our dog has an epileptic seizure. Her compassion for animals is never-ending and

    This is why I love her.

    I hope that my friends get an advocate that has such love, compassion, honor, ethics and is 1 /10 of the woman who my wife Joanna Watson Donahue is.

    Our anniversary is on the 19th. We’ve survived 5 years together.  Her late grandmother, who I love like my own, used to say to me when we walked in, “Have you beat Jo yet?” and when I told her no, she’d reply, “well you should!” She’d turn to Joanna and smile.

    We’ve survived five years of death, heartache, hospitals, bills, drama, hatred, failures and misery…

    .

    .

    because of love, honor, dedication, compassion, friendship, peanut butter sandwiches, pushing to get my degree & the love of two puppies in a WAY too small house.

    I will be somewhere where I can not write this all down where you can see it on our anniversary, but I think doing it a bit early will be fine.

    I am the successful man I am today, because of the love you have shared with me.

    God Bless you Joanna and Happy Early Anniversary!

  • Always learning from Dad

    Always learning from Dad

    So my dad is always teaching, trying to impart knowledge and his experiences on me and my brothers & sisters. After yesterday’s Nebraska Football victory I could tell he had an extra jump in his step.

    “Today’s been a GREAT week. It started with UT losing (my brother in law went to UT), Tech winning, (I went to Tech) , A&M won (My sisters went to A&M) and Nebraska winning (My dad, mom and brother all went to UNL). Just a great week,” my dad started.

    I asked him what about the concept of rooting for the teams in your conference to win, like Baylor and OU.

    “The hell with them, when was the last time you heard a Baylor or OU fan root for Tech? I’ve gotta go take down the animals for your mother. I love you, talk to you later,” my dad finished.

    Every day I appreciate my dad a little more.