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Instant Sean – Page 2 – Speaking truth, the written word & some sarcasm. Not available in stores…

Instant Sean

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  • Words, Just words

    Words, Just words

    There are many lessons in life fathers teach their children. But only one necessary lesson. I bring this up because I failed in teaching this lesson and it hurts my soul.

    My friends and family know of the torment I suffered at the loss of my sister Tara. I never said goodbye or that I loved her and those lack of finality still haunt me to this day, lesser now than in the past.

    But I learned my lesson and make an effort each time to wish people as I leave their presence, my fond wishes of them. When my brother died in 2006 in a car accident, the last words I said to him was “I love you.” When he died, I had closure and peace. I am horrible at hand writing but my wonderful wife is very specific about thank you notes. She sends them like leaves in the wind in the fall.

    Give thanks. It seems simple and easy but millennial’s bristle at the thought of thanking anybody. They think they deserve everything. I once had an intern who at the end of his internship ask me where his office would be when he got a job with our company. I told him offices weren’t handed out to starting employees and earned from hard work. He quit because he wasn’t getting an office.

    Give me a break.

    I try to tell my kids, my friends and even my family how much I care about them every chance I get. I never know if that one chance I fail to say it will be the one time they need it the most.

    Simple words, but they have power and meaning. I Love You.

    I Love You Joanna. I tell her it every day because my life without her had no meaning.

    I Love You Shelby & Ryan. I tell them it every time we speak because I never know how long I will be on this earth.

    I Love You Mom & Dad. Because as they are in their golden years, I’m not sure how many times I will get to tell them those words.

    They are just words Sean, they don’t have any power.

    Tell that to a son who wishes he could tell his dad Happy Father’s Day one more time.

    Tell that to a daughter who wishes she could hold her mom tight one more time.

    Words you say. They have more power than any hateful words you can think of. I can ignore hate, I can shuffle hate to ignorance. But you can’t ignore love. In your darkest days, in your miserable nights, love will always shine through.

    Love means I understand you are eighteen and scared. It means I’ve been there too and I want you to learn from the mistakes I made so you don’t have to have the pain that I have. Your heart won’t hurt from being as broken as my has been.

    Love is forever, so when you have determined my punishment is over I will be here.

    Because I love you forever, that’s what father’s do.

  • Parenting : The Masters Class

    Parenting : The Masters Class

    Dear Mom and Dad,

    Growing up I asked you all the time about parenting. Not all the “How does going to bed at 7 P.M. is going to help my development as a future adult,” but “why,”?

    You always seemed to have the answers. The questions you didn’t have the answer to, you just told me that I would understand when I got older.

    Initially I thought it was a blow off answer. But now I know you were right.

    For all the mistakes I made, you were there to pick me up.

    For all the mistakes you made, you tried the best you could under trying circumstances

    For all the hard times we had financially, you gave value to the possessions we did have.

    For every meaningless toy we wanted but couldn’t and shouldn’t have gotten, you gave us an adventures money could never buy. How many stories could we fill about adventures on the way to adventures, such as walking down a parkway in Chicago to get White Castle or me wasting a half of a roll of film to get a picture of a rooster at Knotts Berry Farm.

    I just didn’t get it.
    For the hand me down that filled our closets, there were stories behind each of them.

     

    You gave us hope through the darkness of a New York blackout, and love through the darkest moments in our family. When people attempted to divide, we came closer as a family.

    You asked me this weekend if anything was wrong.
    This weekend I was quiet, just swallowing every little moment, savoring the opportunities, every hug, kiss and second with my kids, like you used to do to me.

     

    I used to push you away, in fear of something I could never put my finger on, maybe it was a cool factor or just misunderstanding the moment you were having.

    I just didn’t get it as a child

    Love is a fleeting gift, a moment that is here and gone. Moments, like Shelby’s graduation won’t be measured in the seconds of confusion or anger over something trivial but will be measured in the tears that fell from my eyes as Shelby’s name was called.
    There never has been a book on parenting your kids the way you have and thus it’s the reason I’ve realized this afternoon I had taken a masters course in parenting all during my life.

    I didn’t get it when I was a kid but I finally understand today.

    I love you,

    sd

  • Not easy being divorced…

    Not easy being divorced…

     
    For years I have told my friends that living as a divorced dad isn’t easy. With my daughter and son being across the country from where I live, I couldn’t come over and fix the problems they encountered in their lives. It wasn’t easy. I also did not make it easy on them with living arrangements. It was either their mom’s place or mine! There were no bouncing around like a super ball in an enclosed glass space.
     
    I was a jerk. I had to be. If I made life easy on them, I would be doing them a disservice. I have always told them “life isn’t fair, you have to fight for what you believe in.”
     
    So I was completely blown away when my daughter told me of her decision not to go to Ball State. She decided her goals could succeed at Indiana University – Southeast. Part of me pained, definitely my wallet as I had found different things with Ball State Cardinals on it. But I digress.
     
    She was afraid to tell me because she thought I would be mad. She didn’t want to hurt my feelings. That’s how considerate my daughter is. There are plenty of words in this world describing my Shelby. I am not sure I can articulate them all in one post. Every time I look at her with the feeling of failure, because I wasn’t there every day, from her first bike ride to her first dance. I was wrong. Somehow by osmosis, by some miracle, I have no idea, my daughter got it right. She thinks of others and not her own happiness and somehow, by a miracle, I get it.
     
    All the sacrifices we make as parents, are mere pittance, to the ones we fail to see.
     
    I told Joanna I failed as a father, and yet somehow tripped into a wonderful woman. I have to give her mother and stepfather credit. They did a good job.
     
    This week a friend of mine was having issues with his kids. He does anything and everything to make them happy. But yet his kids treat him with anger and pain.
     
    He asked me what the secret of being a divorced dad was.
     
    I shrugged my shoulders and said, “taking it one day at a time. Somehow, by some miracle, my daughter that was learning to walk a mere blink ago, is graduating from high school. Grab those moments, forget about the bad ones, laugh, love and keep moving forward.”
     
    One day you will trip and realize in your effort to do everything right, that somehow, you survived. And that my friends is what being a long distance parent is all about.
     
     
     
     
     
  • Sources are useless to you when they lie.

    Sources are useless to you when they lie.

    Thought I had a great story today. Was going to be the first to report it.

    But something smelled off.

    The information was too good, too complete, it just was too good to be true. So I didn’t say a thing and instead after the show today called for a secondary source.

    I couldn’t get one. Not one source  would confirm what I was told. 

    So I said nothing, but strange enough, the second I started calling looking for a secondary confirmation, my teammates were given the exact opposite information.

    I was being played.

    So I learned a lesson not to trust this boy ever again. 

    I move on. Never said this job was going to be easy…

  • Say what you mean and mean what you say…

    Say what you mean and mean what you say…

    I preface what I need to say with the following:
     
    I’ve worked in the media in one way or another since 1994. When dealing with sports teams and personalities there is a careful balance. Get to close to a team / player and you lose objectivity. Don’t get close enough and you lose the touch and intimacy in which you get when you know the ins and outs of a dynamic. In my years in media, I’ve kept my distance, not asked for the contact numbers and kept my distance so I can be objective. I can also call out the players when I know they aren’t giving or making an effort. I’ve tried to keep my distance for purposes of my personal privacy.
     
    By doing this, I know I can give my opinions without betraying trusts or by allowing people to take advantage of me.
     
    Today, a player who I’ve, as well as many of my other colleagues have talked to, decided to head home. This same player mouthed out after the end of the Texas Tech season. ‘Everything would change when he came to the rescue next year.’ I told him, “I’ll believe it when I see it,” and he mouthed off again to me in private. I never repeated what he said to me, nor will I now, but I feel sorry for him, then and now.
     
    His excuse is he is leaving to take care of a sick relative back home. Fine. I wish him the best and I am praying for his family member back home.
     
    What I don’t excuse was the way he handled this announcement. When asked by one of my fellow members of the media to comment, he immediately un-followed and blocked him on Twitter. If you are man enough to brag how you are going to save a program when you get there, expect anger when you leave. Expect even more anger when you block people who were your biggest supporters. He’s a child, a kid, I know and there are even more kids out there who depend on our support. “Student-athletes” deserve to earn a wage for the entertainment they are providing others.
     
    Kids though, need to be whipped and sent to bed without dinner.