My dearest Joanna,
I know that you are worried, sick , tired and anxious. We can’t control sickness, we sure as hell can’t control the job market. BUT our love for each other, we can control. You can remember that I goto bed each night thinking of you and the kids, and that my first thoughts every morning are after holding you tight.
We are in a pinch, we’ve gotten out of pinches before. We didn’t know how we were going to pay a bill, but mysteriously a check we didn’t expect came.
I can do anything in this world as long as you are next to me holding my hand. I can not be defeated, I can not be held back. I am strong with your words, even stronger with your smile.
We have seen such great things together and have experienced things and opportunities that others only WISH they could.
My dream is to continue to experience, to love and to hold you tight each night with the same love that you give me each morning.
Unconditional.
I love you now and forever,
Your husband.
Categories: Instant Happiness Tags:
I will always be honest with you, the listeners. It’s who I am. I drink, I don’t smoke and I don’t raise as much hell as I used to.
But I always run a fair game.
Recently a listener called me up and wanted to take me to the mat for the rules of a contest that we were running. The first freeze contest.
“Why four days in advance Sean, that’s kinda shitty,” the male caller started off with his rant. “I should be able to put my guess whenever I want.”
“Well, it is our contest and in the interest of fairness and not allowing people to snipe a trip we put these rules in place,” I replied.
“I think that it’s unfair. F&^*( you, Sean” and he hung up on me.
That was juvenile I thought and then I thought some more. I wanted to *69 him back and say “Hey %$*#()@#(), just because you tried to angle-shoot me and it didn’t work, don’t be ticked at me.” But I didn’t because no matter what happens he will have my opinion and I will never be right in his world.
That’s beyond my control.
What is my control is providing rules that are fair, explaining them and posting them on this website and also at our studios during contest periods for people to check. I always try and let someone pick the name , if it is a drawing, for I would rather not have everyone in the contest looking at me and saying ‘You didn’t draw my name you SOB.” I strive for fairness and honesty. When I make a mistake, I make it good as best as I can and try my best to make everyone happy, knowing however that I will be unable to.
For example, I know that in the morning that I will be surrounded by people that waited until after the First Freeze happens that people will put contest entries in and say that they are the winner, and I will be the one to disappoint them with the rules with the 4 day window rule.
Nothing is ever fair in life and there is nothing I can do, nor say that will please these people.
But the same people who complain, didn’t want to play fair in the first place.
Categories: Instant Sean, People I admire Tags:
Clarity is my friend right now. I do what I need to do right this second and I move on from there. Recently I made unhappy decisions for my family. But they had to be done. It is better to do what is unpopular and yet right than it is to do what is popular but will cause misery down the line. I’ve made the popular decisions in the past and I continue to pay for them. I say no when I mean no and sometimes even say I’ll try when I know the answer will be no. The easy yes is NEVER easy. There are always conditions, never an easy path. There is never a free lunch. I watched as people I have trusted blindside me as they have been blindsided by people that they have trusted.
I barely trust anyone. It’s sad that I don’t but trust is earned and I have watched people betray trust.
I have allowed more people to touch and enter my life. I have been enriched by their touch and I have been blessed by hopefully touching their lives poisitively.
I can’t allow myself to be negative. I allow myself to be realistic and not pessimistic.
My back isn’t great, and it will be better, maybe not as good as it was before the accident, but I am looking forward to the day that I get to pick up my son and daughter once again with all three of us crying with joy.
The day is coming and I leave it all in God’s hands. That’s all I can do.
We are so fortunate and friends like Shawn Sparks have gone and made a difference in Haiti.
I can only hope that when you come to that key fork in the road…
That you take it.
Categories: General, Instant Happiness, My thoughts Tags:
As we were driving home from our trip to somewhere, Joanna started taking pictures of clouds of dust that were crossing the road. They were powerful and amazing and a moment that would have been forgotten if I hadn't reached in the camera bag as I was driving and told her, "get that".
Categories: Instant Happiness, People I admire Tags: Inspiration, Instant Happiness, Photography
Why are the puppies in the car? And why are we sad?
Late Friday night I was called by my family to tell of my grandmother condition. She’d been put into a hospital for an apparent heart attack. She was in good spirits but the doctors weren’t telling everyone all the details as they were still running tests.
I decided that I would call my parents and we would find a flight that I could come down on after the 4th on Broadway parade. Normally I would blow off any promotional appearances, but my grandmother who I’d talked to reminded me about how Grandpa felt about making a commitment and keeping it.
So I decided to leave on a 2P flight (one way) and Joanna would leave with the dogs after the parade and meet me in Sherman.
Then the floods unfolded on the 4th on Broadway parade and a normal 2 hour endeavour turned into a 43 min parade as most of the floats cancelled.
So Joanna and I went home and changed clothes, thinking about the 7A call from my mom that I thought was the one that would tell me that I had made a mistake not to come Friday night and that she was gone.
But good fortune smiled upon me as Mom , Dad and the family was on the way up to Sherman and wanted me to make the flight ontime. Since it would have been longer for me to wait for the flight, we cancelled the ticket and I started to drive with Joanna on the way carefully through the rain and water logged roads to DFW.
With each moment Joanna would comfort me and yet I had nothing to say back to her.
When Tara died, I felt cheated. I didn’t get to say goodbye.
When my grandfather died, I felt relieved for he was in an enormous amount of pain, and I didn’t want him to suffer.
When Patrick died, though I was heartbroken, I had talked to him a week before and we told each other how much we missed and loved each other. It was perfect.
So I didn’t know if I was going to be cheated, relieved , heartbroken or a combination of the three.
But as we drove up to the hospital, I felt like the clouds were breaking, and the smile on my grandmothers face was perfect.
“I told you I’d wait for you Sean,” she said as I held her close.
The doctors had found a 5mm aortic aneurysm and were trying to do their best to treat it with drugs.
My heart fell as she only would eat a little when dinner would come. But she made me smile with her excitement to see the wedding photographs that she hadn’t seen yet.
Yesterday was a good day.
As I write this, she is now in ICU struggling and fighting like the tough old bird that she is.
I pray that we have more good days than bad days and that I don’t have to return if something happens.
But as we said goodbye, I kissed her, told her how much I love her and she told me how proud she was of my family and me.
Now, nothing else matters.
Your prayers and well wishes are appreciated all but I have only one prayer for the Big Guy now:
Big Guy, if it is her time, take her into your arms, guide her from pain and let her be met at the pearly gates by my brother, my sister and my grandfather.
If it is not her time, watch over her, give her the strength to recover and finish her work here on earth.
I don’t understand your map Big Guy, I don’t understand your plan, but thanks for letting me have a special moment with her.
Sean
Categories: People I admire Tags:
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