Fantasy Football

In the cash league, the New York Nasty Boys is in the top 4.

In the work league that I don’t care about… well I don’t care.

In the FUN League. I don’t care, and I’m having a blast.

Allergies

Over the weekend I had a bite of some sort on my back while I was at a client remote.

More stories and interesting stuff after the break…

(more…)

Anthony looked at the end of the bed. As he stared as his cold bare feet he knew that his live-in maid/ on and off girlfriend had somehow screwed with the blanket.

It isn’t easy being 6′ 10 and he usually can’t have a bed with a foot board at the end. Some hotels (especially Lisbon) he would find himself hanging off the bed.  But then again, this is his story…

…

“Honey, don’t you understand I don’t ask for much from you,” she started.

“Expected what which time dear,” I asked wishing that I could find the aspirin.  My head was hurting and I took one of those headache powders.  I could down these damn things like they were my ex to white powder.

“Tony, don’t you understand, all I need you to do is fold up your socks, kill the roaches and any bugs I see and clean the windows.  You know I NEVER do the windows.” (more…)

Liberty is freedom…

and I’m far from free to talk about the last couple of months but I’m back to try and get the feelings and emotions out.

I had an alternate blog that I put nothing but private posts up and there probably won’t be a day when those see the light of day.

I was stuck, not willing to let anything go, not willing to let anything out, and I was constipated with thought and emotions. Rather than yelling and screaming on here, I’ve decided to hold thing in.

And that’s where I become the most miserable.

I wasn’t in the beginning because most of the stuff I discussed in my blog was discussed with Joanna and I had an outlet. But the longer that I didn’t write, I didn’t feel like I was free.

One of my friend Mookie’s question’s is Do you get a lot of grief for your poker habit?  It isn’t my poker habit, it’s my writing habit.  I’ve been doing a lot of things that haven’t been condusive to writing, I’ve let my feelings get bottled up and in the end, I have shut down.

I’ve played games, tried playing poker, tried writing other stuff, but I’m not sure what I needed to do, so I hid. It’s what I do and Mitchell and my other friends know that I shut down when I don’t know the answer.

And that has hurt my friends and family.

They were worried, and in a dream I had last night, I was brought to a writing intervention.

“You know, ” my dream friend Mitchell says, “you seem happier when you are writing and your friends and family are here to let you know that we won’t let you hide in the excuse of work and video games to try and avoid life.”

“You run around the house kissing me when you get those awe inspiring ideas and those have been gone for awhile,” my dream fiance Joanna cries,”I want my creative (nickname not for public consumption) back.”

Then my friend Marshall knocks down the door. “Dude, you’ve been gone? WTF”

So, I’m back, hurting a little less and hoping that the struggles that I go through are less each day and that my dreams are closer and my love is stronger than it has been before.

sd

I know times are tough, but as long as you have familty that loves you and good friends, nothing else matters.

Be tough and remember that the only thing that hold you back is you yourself.

I learned that yesterday.  I’ve alwyas thought of myself as a small cog, something that can be replaced with any other cog and the motor will work the same.

But yesterday, I was told how important I was in my field and it felt good.  There is very very few people in the multiple groups of my field that does what I do. I’m the ultimate specialist. And its good to know I’ll be able to find work because of my abilities whenever in the future my time here is over.

But to my friends who I know are sturggling in this economy, have hope.  I’m saying multiple prayers for you and negotiating with the Big Guy. Maybe your perfect gig is just around the corner.  Have faith!

A man who gave me many a thought for creative teasing in radio died this evening.

Paul Harvey, the news commentator and talk-radio pioneer whose staccato style made him one of the nation’s most familiar voices, died Saturday in Arizona, according to ABC Radio Networks. He was 90.

He was more than familiar, he was a legend.

Thanks for your inspiration …

and GOOD DAY!

done.

Congratulations dinner …

done.

Sleep. NOW!

ISSUE 1

Billy knows what it’s all about…

Recently the following people have asked me a question:

My boss Jay,

one of my good friends Mike Dalby,

his wife Kym,

my intern Kristen,

coworker David,

best friends Joe,

his fiance Ann,

Joanna’s friend Sean,

Joanna’s friend Michelle

my poker buddy Wawfuls aka Marshall and

one of my best friends Mitchell  and Kerri all have asked me and Joanna

THE QUESTION!

And I have the answer for you all. (more…)

One of my childhood heroes was Mark Holtz.  When I moved down to Texas, one of the many times I did, I was amazed by listening to the both the Mavericks and the Rangers with legend.  He opened every Ranger baseball broadcast with “It’s Baseball time in TEXAS!”

I’d used to be taken on a path of amazement as he made the stRangers teams in the 80′s interesting to watch.

But recently I’ve noticed the total indifference about an award that I thought Mark should win. The Ford Frick award in broadcasting.  Now some writers have made efforts in the past, Ex 1. , Ex 2. to have a Texas Ranger broadcasting legend be put into the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Now before you nay sayers begin, they have members of the Montreal Expos Broadcasters in the HoF!

Why not Mark?

Hello Win Column is still placed on the scoreboard at the end of every Texas Ranger victory.

Why Not Mark?

Please Texas Rangers, do something right, support Mark Holtz in 2009.

Sincerly,

Texas Ranger Fan in Denial.

News!!!

I saw the doc and he painfully removed the 54 staples and replaced them with steri-strips. So we are closer to full recovery.

and finally…

All 18 tumors were found to be … (more…)

I’ve been working on a lot of projects this last couple of months…

So lets get you caught up:

I found a wonderful woman, lost her, found her again.

I had issues at work which I can’t mention and have made adjustments to correct the issues.

I haven’t played poker much because I haven’t been home much, lot of work, lot of renovation, lot of Texas Tech Football, lot of don’t care.

I have lost my voice, not only physically but mentally.  I used to write because I had something to say, but recently I lost it due to actions in and beyond my control.  It took a while for me to find my voice again.  Not to succomb to the death of what gave me joy for so long, the ability and the desire to write.

And only have I found peace recently.  Peace in my heart and peace in my mind.

I won’t be controlled or manipulated.  I will just be there for those of you I deem important to be around.  Recently I had made choices that I thought were in the best interest of my family, my future and myself.  All those assumptions were wrong.  I needed to not see what I was missing to realize that I wasn’t missing anything at all.

I have had the realization that there are special friends who care and who have been my advocates in many forms and function.  I have had those who have shown their true colors.  And I have seen the difference. 

I have made mistakes that have hurt me, but were in the best interest of me.  I won’t and can’t do things the same way every time.

And I have shut down.  Not like my usual once a year weekly shutdown that occurs after the Radiothon or before my birthday.  This was a shutdown of my emotions.

I lost Mugsy, my precious dog.  To some of my readers, he was just an animal.  But to me, he was my sanity when Angie left me and took the kids.  When my grandfather died, my dog knew when I was low and tried to help.  When Pat died, he knew my anger.  But I never was good enough to him, snapping at him when he would bark or when he would bark at the front door when there was no one there.  I was wrong Mugs.  There was someone there that night and you tried your damnest to make sure I was safe.  I should have checked up on you after you ran out the dog door.  You did your job my friend.

I took time to wake up and see a sunrise and see the majesty of a painted masterpiece that I rarely see.  I drove outside of town to see the stars. And I saw into my soul.

Now some of you would see this as an attempt to say “Everything is going to be alright.”  I already know that. 

That’s not what this post is about. This post is about cleaning old things out.

I have been working on removing the crappy old carpet and replacing it.  When the chair rail is put up in the next couple of weeks I will put up the pictures of the before and after.  But I don’t think that you need to see what’s in the past or in the future.

For the past is the lessons that we have all learned and all will learn.  The future is where we walk hand in hand together.  Some of us have fallen or taken another path.  Some of us will not walk together, our paths have diverged from each other. But the path I am on is a glorious one my friends.  I take each step looking forward to the next step.

And that’s what’s different.  It’s not who we have elected or who we didn’t, it’s not the price of my 401k from three years ago to now.  It’s the path and the walk that has made the difference.

I have made bad judgments on working with people on things that I had no right to involve myself in or get pulled into. I have worked with people that I have tried to overlook flaws that have affected the way I worked with them.  I have tried to work with people that I should have passed on because I wanted so bad to make something of my life.  I made mistakes.

But I have also have had some incredible successes in the last couple of months.

I put up a ceiling fan by myself without electricuting myself, I helped lay wood flooring down in the kids room and I have painted like I have never painted before.  Patrick would be proud. 

I have finally completed my emergency fund so I am safe for a month and I am trying to build on it with the $1000 in 30 days challenge.  So far I’ve got $175 in the fund and I think I can put more away to hit my goal.  I am extremely proud of myself.

I actually had Joanna put the thought into my head of going back to school and finishing my degree part time.  The mere thought of getting my degree finally puts a smile on my face and one day, and it may be soon, I might just start down that path again.

I’ve had other successes that I would and could enumerate… but why bother?  I have survived the darkness and have seen the light.

I would like to, without a shadow of a doubt, go to Vegas for the December blogger gathering.  But I cannot.  Work, flights and things out of my control will keep me from attending.  My next blogger gathering will be at Okie-Vegas III or is it IV.  I can not wait till July to see my friends again.

I still have hopes, dreams and desires of greatness and of miracles. 

If you read through all of this, miracle one achieved.

Sean