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Kids – Instant Sean

Instant Sean

Tag: Kids

  • A Sad Trip Around The Sun

    A Sad Trip Around The Sun

    On my birthday I found out about an old friend of mine from a divorce care counseling group I belonged to, passing on from a lengthy illness. I was sad but glad, for the pain he had been under had been excruciating, and he need not suffer anymore.

    When I first got divorced we were paired to talk about our experiences, praying for each other and trying our best supportive act for each other. We would talk about our kids in our one on one sessions, we both had a daughter and a son, his older than mine, as he was 20 years my senior.

    When it was time for his daughter wedding, she chose her mom’s new husband to walk her down the aisle to my friends dismay. When the speeches came, everyone spoke but my friend and he was further humiliated by not given a solo father daughter dance.

    His daughter split the dance, giving him the first half of the dance and then giving an extended dance with her step father.

    My friend, paid for the honeymoon and for moving expenses closer to a job which would put her closer to Waco and him.

    But shortly after the honeymoon, her “plans changed,” and she isolated her father even more. She joined her step dad’s company, she moved to a house provided by her step dad and mom and slowly stopped talking to her dad. She had country club tastes but she would tell anyone that her dad was just “a bum.”

    I feel that pain every day when I don’t get to see my kids, and I can only imagine how he felt.

    Though he never married again, Steven put a foot forward doing whatever it took to be available for his daughter and he died a broken man never reconciling with her.

    Now this afternoon, the executor read the will and his daughter was left a picture of Steven and her where she’s looked up to him with loving wonder.

    His son Tony moved to California for a job  a long time ago. But he sent his dad a card for every holiday, birthday and special occasion. Though separated early in his life just like his older sister, he still treated his father like the man who gave him unconditional love.

    In the end Steven died alone but he knew he was loved.

    His daughter got a photo.

    Tony got everything else.

    God bless you Steven and may you Rest In Peace my friend.

  • Parenting : The Masters Class

    Parenting : The Masters Class

    Dear Mom and Dad,

    Growing up I asked you all the time about parenting. Not all the “How does going to bed at 7 P.M. is going to help my development as a future adult,” but “why,”?

    You always seemed to have the answers. The questions you didn’t have the answer to, you just told me that I would understand when I got older.

    Initially I thought it was a blow off answer. But now I know you were right.

    For all the mistakes I made, you were there to pick me up.

    For all the mistakes you made, you tried the best you could under trying circumstances

    For all the hard times we had financially, you gave value to the possessions we did have.

    For every meaningless toy we wanted but couldn’t and shouldn’t have gotten, you gave us an adventures money could never buy. How many stories could we fill about adventures on the way to adventures, such as walking down a parkway in Chicago to get White Castle or me wasting a half of a roll of film to get a picture of a rooster at Knotts Berry Farm.

    I just didn’t get it.
    For the hand me down that filled our closets, there were stories behind each of them.

     

    You gave us hope through the darkness of a New York blackout, and love through the darkest moments in our family. When people attempted to divide, we came closer as a family.

    You asked me this weekend if anything was wrong.
    This weekend I was quiet, just swallowing every little moment, savoring the opportunities, every hug, kiss and second with my kids, like you used to do to me.

     

    I used to push you away, in fear of something I could never put my finger on, maybe it was a cool factor or just misunderstanding the moment you were having.

    I just didn’t get it as a child

    Love is a fleeting gift, a moment that is here and gone. Moments, like Shelby’s graduation won’t be measured in the seconds of confusion or anger over something trivial but will be measured in the tears that fell from my eyes as Shelby’s name was called.
    There never has been a book on parenting your kids the way you have and thus it’s the reason I’ve realized this afternoon I had taken a masters course in parenting all during my life.

    I didn’t get it when I was a kid but I finally understand today.

    I love you,

    sd

  • Not easy being divorced…

    Not easy being divorced…

     
    For years I have told my friends that living as a divorced dad isn’t easy. With my daughter and son being across the country from where I live, I couldn’t come over and fix the problems they encountered in their lives. It wasn’t easy. I also did not make it easy on them with living arrangements. It was either their mom’s place or mine! There were no bouncing around like a super ball in an enclosed glass space.
     
    I was a jerk. I had to be. If I made life easy on them, I would be doing them a disservice. I have always told them “life isn’t fair, you have to fight for what you believe in.”
     
    So I was completely blown away when my daughter told me of her decision not to go to Ball State. She decided her goals could succeed at Indiana University – Southeast. Part of me pained, definitely my wallet as I had found different things with Ball State Cardinals on it. But I digress.
     
    She was afraid to tell me because she thought I would be mad. She didn’t want to hurt my feelings. That’s how considerate my daughter is. There are plenty of words in this world describing my Shelby. I am not sure I can articulate them all in one post. Every time I look at her with the feeling of failure, because I wasn’t there every day, from her first bike ride to her first dance. I was wrong. Somehow by osmosis, by some miracle, I have no idea, my daughter got it right. She thinks of others and not her own happiness and somehow, by a miracle, I get it.
     
    All the sacrifices we make as parents, are mere pittance, to the ones we fail to see.
     
    I told Joanna I failed as a father, and yet somehow tripped into a wonderful woman. I have to give her mother and stepfather credit. They did a good job.
     
    This week a friend of mine was having issues with his kids. He does anything and everything to make them happy. But yet his kids treat him with anger and pain.
     
    He asked me what the secret of being a divorced dad was.
     
    I shrugged my shoulders and said, “taking it one day at a time. Somehow, by some miracle, my daughter that was learning to walk a mere blink ago, is graduating from high school. Grab those moments, forget about the bad ones, laugh, love and keep moving forward.”
     
    One day you will trip and realize in your effort to do everything right, that somehow, you survived. And that my friends is what being a long distance parent is all about.
     
     
     
     
     
  • Say what you mean and mean what you say…

    Say what you mean and mean what you say…

    I preface what I need to say with the following:
     
    I’ve worked in the media in one way or another since 1994. When dealing with sports teams and personalities there is a careful balance. Get to close to a team / player and you lose objectivity. Don’t get close enough and you lose the touch and intimacy in which you get when you know the ins and outs of a dynamic. In my years in media, I’ve kept my distance, not asked for the contact numbers and kept my distance so I can be objective. I can also call out the players when I know they aren’t giving or making an effort. I’ve tried to keep my distance for purposes of my personal privacy.
     
    By doing this, I know I can give my opinions without betraying trusts or by allowing people to take advantage of me.
     
    Today, a player who I’ve, as well as many of my other colleagues have talked to, decided to head home. This same player mouthed out after the end of the Texas Tech season. ‘Everything would change when he came to the rescue next year.’ I told him, “I’ll believe it when I see it,” and he mouthed off again to me in private. I never repeated what he said to me, nor will I now, but I feel sorry for him, then and now.
     
    His excuse is he is leaving to take care of a sick relative back home. Fine. I wish him the best and I am praying for his family member back home.
     
    What I don’t excuse was the way he handled this announcement. When asked by one of my fellow members of the media to comment, he immediately un-followed and blocked him on Twitter. If you are man enough to brag how you are going to save a program when you get there, expect anger when you leave. Expect even more anger when you block people who were your biggest supporters. He’s a child, a kid, I know and there are even more kids out there who depend on our support. “Student-athletes” deserve to earn a wage for the entertainment they are providing others.
     
    Kids though, need to be whipped and sent to bed without dinner.
  • Regrets, Ethics or Anything There is a College Course In

    Regrets, Ethics or Anything There is a College Course In

    Forward:

    “I can’t afford regrets, ethics or anything there is a college course in,” I thought to myself as I took my first real job in radio, throwing away a career in sales at the Radio Shack. Looking back on that day, I wonder if I could do it over again, come to think of it I would.

    I had worked part-time at the college radio station and part-time at the South Plains Mall at the ‘shack trying to get through the educational boredom at Texas Tech in the early 90’s. Boy, looking back on my life in radio, I’ve accomplished plenty.

    But the stories that few have heard are the ones I need to tell. Like the time I connected Richie McDonald and his mom on an early conference call, walking down 4th on Broadway parade in an eagle costume and passing out at the Texas Tech fountain, and I won’t forget the stories of the people who my team and I have helped on the way.

    Sure, I will change the names of the guilty, but those jackasses will know who they are. Cause this story, like most stories told by one of my college professor Johnny Hughes is 90% truth with a hint of bull.

    So Josh McCormack, thank for the kick in the ass. I sure as hell needed it.

    To my children Shelby & Ryan, everything I do, I truly do for you. To my wonderful wife Joanna, yes, you were asleep as this seed started its growth, but I know as I start on this journey, I expect you will aid me with plenty of fertilizing and weeding of my ideas. To my family, I blame you for my warped sense of humor and allowing me hamming opportunities that I have always thought was moderately funny. Okay, kind of funny. Maybe funny ut oh?

    To “Regrets, Ethics or Anything There is a College Course In.”

    Let’s ride!